The Dating Show & The Dating Game

I shouldn't have left you hanging with what happened during my day off earlier in the week. I was totally shocked when I saw Gymnast Guy on TV. Just when I thought he couldn't look hotter...he did. And just when I thought I was getting over how charming he was...it was right there on national television. In fact, he ended up winning the guy over. The "guy" in question had actually been on another reality show before. I immediately looked online to find information on this reality guy. Most sites pointed to the fact that he is still single. Boy was I relieved.

I then proceeded to text Gymnast Guy about the situation in a very nonchalant manner.

Me: "Saw you in a dating show on TV today."
GG: "How funny. And embarrassing!"

He does end up revealing in the dating show that there's nude pictures of him out there. Yep...you read that right. I already found them of course (but I didn't tell him that). I'm so glad the internet was created. Let's just say if I had any hope of losing my crush on this guy, it's pretty much gone. This guy's great physical features definitely extend below the belt. I'm in love. Or am I?

I'm very aware that I don't have a relationship or even a real friendship with this guy. So of course it's not love. I also ask myself if I'm really attracted to him or just the idea of him. Is it because he's one of the few I've recently been interested in that hasn't just thrown him/herself at me? Do I just crave the challenge? Why do we play these games? I mean I am in a weird situation cause I'm his manager, but so what? I've got a ton of questions with no clear answers.

After that day, I vowed not to call or even answer any of his texts back. He must have read my mind cause he didn't contact me. And I was actually doing a pretty good job of keeping myself occupied. The guy I met Thursday night was a good distraction. But I was going to have to run into GG at work sooner or later. And that happened today. He showed up to work. On his day off.


He said he wanted to change his availability. I told him to talk to another manager. I acted distant and immediately pretended to help customers. But not for long. After he was done, he found me. His warm smile was too hard to resist. We had a conversation that I just wanted to go on forever even though I had stuff to do. I did remind myself that showing this guy too much attention might just make me seem less attractive so I tried to end our chat. But he just kept going. About working out. About the show he just saw that day. About how his parents will be in town next weekend and how he wants to take them to the lounge that's part of the nightclub I work at. WTF? Sure it's one of the top clubs in the country, but if my parents were visiting it wouldn't be one of the first places I'd take them. Is he toying with me? Anyways I finally got Gymnast Guy to leave. Even though I didn't want him to...

A bright idea popped into my head after work, and I thought maybe I can ask him out as a friend to go to a show this week. So I texted him to see if he was free Tuesday night at 10p to go see it. He's just getting out of his other job by that time. Included in the text was a sad face. That pretty much summed up how I felt too. This would officially be Strike Two. (Strike One was the time I asked him out to dinner.) I'm not a sadomasochist so I'm trying one more time, and if it doesn't happen, I'm gonna have to give the chase up. You would think in my line of work I would be used to it by now, but I just don't seem take rejection very well.

And here's another song (I stole from Gossip Girl last season) that is on repeat on my Ipod right now. I love the metaphors in the lyrics.

Style & The Well-Dressed Guy

I started this blog thinking I would be able to post daily - boy was I wrong! Between balancing two jobs and actually having something substantial to post about, blogging on a daily basis can be very challenging. So after a few days of absence, I've decided to share a little of my past on here. Well...something did happen Thursday night that prompted me to give you readers some back history.

I was working at the nightclub entertaining some friends that were celebrating their birthdays together (trust me I'm getting sick of birtdays too). Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a really cute guy giving me a look of recognition. He had brown hair, a lean build, and a boy-next-door look. I don't really make the first move on guys considering I'm not really out of the closet so I just continued to chat with my friends. Next thing I know, the cute guy touches me on the elbow and asks me if I was at a certain hotel the other day. I was. The guy says he recognized me because of the way I was dressed that night (a fitted gray sweater vest, a navy skinny tie, a striped blue shirt and charcoal pants) and that very moment (a dark aquamarine shirt, a black vest, a b&w striped narrow tie, and black pinstriped pants). I thanked him, and I was glad it was dark cause I started blushing. We exchanged names (we'll call him Noah). He asked me what I was doing at the hotel that night (I was visiting a friend at the bar) , and I asked him what he did there (he's in accounting). Noah also introduced me to his friend who looked a little annoyed. I thought maybe his friend was straight and didn't approve of us having a conversation that excluded him so I grabbed a couple of my female friends and introduced them. He didn't seem interested in them. So Noah and I started wrapping up our conversation, and I gave him my business card. I didn't really know how to ask for his phone number so I missed my opportunity. When am I going to learn? While the whole interaction did make me smile, it also made me remember that I wasn't always the well-dressed guy.


In fact, between high school and college I went through about three fashion phases. During 9th grade, I had somewhat of a nerdy/grunge look - I had acne, braces, and wore oversized plaid shirts and baggy jeans. The high school in-crowd took me in during 11th grade after I ditched the braces and lost the acne. My style switched to a hip-hop look since that's what was in at the time. I still wore baggy jeans but I wore Adidas, a lot of jerseys and bright colored XXL activewear even though I was only a Medium. By the time I won Homecoming King I was leaning towards more of a preppy look. This helped me a lot when I was rushing fraternities in college. I wanted to be a part of one of the two best fraternities on campus - one which resembled an Abercrombie & Fitch ad and the other looked and acted very spoiled like the guys from the movie The Skulls. I'll let you guess which one I ended up joining.

I started working at the clothing store as a sales associate my freshman year in college, and it's taught me a lot about fashion and style. The two can actually be very different. Someone can be very fashionable but lack a sense of personal style. I've only decided within the past couple of years that I would rather be known for having a sense of style than always wearing the latest trends. I'm still working on editing my wardrobe cause I'm somewhat of a shopaholic, but it's all coming together. And with what happened Thursday night, it looks like my decision to pick style over fashion has paid off.

A Day Off & Errands

What's a typical day off in my life like? I didn't have anything too major happen to me in the past couple of days so I thought I'd share what I did today.

3:00am. Finally fall asleep.

9:00am. Wake up to an e-mail from my district manager at the clothing store commending me on the district hiring report I created. She wants me to do it weekly. I decide to reply later and go back to sleep.

11:00am. Really wake up this time. I tell myself I'm not going to call or even think about Gymnast Guy today. I go on my laptop to reply to e-mails and surf the 'net for a bit.

12:30pm. Leave for the gym.

1:00pm. One of my cute male co-workers from the nightclub (who's also in an all male revue) surprises me by putting his hands on my abs telling me to hold them tight while I do wide-grip pulldowns.

1:30pm. Run on the treadmill. This is my first time doing cardio in almost a year. I'm an ectomorph, and it's hard to pack on mass especially if I do cardio. I avoided doing it for as long as I can, but I realized that if I want to turn my 6-pack into an 8-pack I would need it.

2:00pm. Get back home. I turn the TV on while I go on Amazon.com adding some DVDs like the first season of Dirty, Sexy Money to my wish list. Finish my acai protein shake.

3:00pm. My friend Amy calls and asks me to take her to the shop to pick up her car. Amy's one of those girls that guys can never say no to because she's this hot bad girl with a sweet side (and a smokin' body). So of course I agree. She tells me she owes me dinner. Not a bad deal.

3:45pm. After dropping her off, I pick up some groceries at the organic supermarket.

4:15pm. Stop by a Mexican grill to get a chicken bowl with brown rice.

4:30pm. Make it back home. Turn on the TV. As I begin to eat my chicken bowl, I recognize the guy on the screen. Gymnast Guy is on some reality dating show. I wish I was making this shit up.

Rejection & Horror

Another busy weekend has gone by. I worked with Gymnast Guy on Friday. It was only for four hours, but I enjoy every minute I get to see him. After work, I went to a birthday party held at a bar on the other side of town. At a little after 11pm, I received a text from Gymnast Guy telling me how he appreciated my "positive energy" at work and how he wishes me a happy weekend. Out of excitement, I texted back that he makes it easy for me to be positive, and if he'll consider going to dinner with me next week.

After an hour and a half, no response.

I then realized how much of a huge HR issue I've just created. I quickly texted him back apologizing for my inappropriate question and asking him if we can just forget I ever asked it. I concentrated on the birthday girl to get my mind away from the situation. She's so trashed after four drinks that she asks me why we've never dated because we would make a great couple. I just laughed awkwardly. My friend's a pretty hot blond, but she's slept with a couple of guys in my fraternity so I was not about to take sloppy thirds. I headed home around 1am and checked my Blackberry.

Still no reply.

So many thoughts are racing through my head at this point. Did he feel sexually harassed? Am I not his type? Did he want to say yes but wanted to keep things professional? He had a huge audition on Sunday so did he just ignore my text so I won't be a distraction? I needed to sleep so I tried to clear my mind.


The next day I just focused on work. I checked my phone on my break and there was an unread message from him. I freak out a little. It says "You're fine. Are you at work or are you off?" WTF? I tell him I'm on break at work. He texts back asking for his schedule if I'm not too busy. I started feeling really confused. I hope this guy doesn't think he has me wrapped around his finger. I might have asked him out, but if I'm getting rejected (which is highly likely in this case) I don't like to wallow in self-pity wondering what could have been. After work, I went to another birthday dinner to relax and try to forget the insanity. A friend happened to be a manager at this Asian fusion restaurant so we ended up having half of our meal/drinks comped!

Anyways, I received an email early Sunday morning from Gymnast Guy. It had a link to a Youtube video of a Worship song. A song about the Lord. I'm Catholic, but I don't forward religious songs. What is up with this guy? I texted him wishing him good luck on his huge audition without mention of his e-mail. I couldn't even really think about him cause it was going to be a very sad day. I had to go to one of my salespeople's father's funeral AND I was going to hang out with a really good friend one last time before she moves out of town. Is it just me or people are either dying, celebrating a birthday, or moving out of town every week? Not a very good combination.

My friend (we'll call her Parvathy) is quite rare. She comes from a pretty wealthy family, but she has always been pretty independent. I met her while she was studying to be a doctor here in the US (she was already one in India) when she was one of my former part-time cashiers at the clothing store. We share a love for horror movies so we went to go see one the last night we were able to hang out. We saw "Mirrors" starring Kiefer Sutherland. I thought it was pretty horrible. It did spark a debate between us about two different types of horror movies. She happens to love supernatural ones but doesn't think horror films with human killers are scary at all. I think it really depends on the movie. To me, it doesn't matter if a killer is a ghost or a human. If the movie delivers in setting up the atmosphere and the characters correctly, I will be scared. My favorite movies include a mixture of both - The Ring, Scream, Rosemary's Baby, Night of the Living Dead, Grudge, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre (this list does go on). What scares you?

Hugs & Crushes

Several months ago, my friend and I were hanging out by this gorgeous fountain surrounded by a beautiful garden. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted three beautiful women just kind of standing there. Part of my job at the nightclub I work at is increasing our hot clientele, so I immediately grabbed my friend to talk to these ladies. We said hello, introduced ourselves, and asked if they were just visiting (cause the fountain was somewhat of a tourist spot). I found out they were Miss America contestants, but that one of them was actually thinking of moving here. She was actually the most receptive out of the three so I was very excited. I invited them to have drinks later, but they declined. They had to get a full night's sleep and get up early to look refreshed for a show they were filming - completely understandable. I exchanged numbers with the one moving here (we'll call her Katie) so that we can keep in touch. As I was still reeling from shock that I met three of the most beautiful women in America, my friend and I said goodbye.


I received a text from Katie over the summer saying she broke up with her boyfriend who was supposed to move into town with her. I was sympathetic, but a little happy inside. You might be thinking...wow this guy's a predator hoping to score with a vulnerable chick on the rebound. But that is far from the truth. Yeah, I'm very infatuated with her (she's a fuckin knockout), but this girl is also sweet and genuine. Not something I would expect from a pageant candidate. If I'm not her type, I hope to at least get a good friend out of it. Anyways she told me she was going to be out of the country for Miss America goodwill projects but that she'll move into town after that.

Well yesterday I finally talked to her and found out she had moved here already. Gymnast Guy might make me feel like a schoolgirl, but Katie makes me feel like a schoolboy! We haven't made specific plans yet (cause I'm very busy this week...birthday and going away parties again - go figure), but I told her I'm taking her out on the town as soon as I get the chance. She loves the idea - I can't wait! That just made my whole day yesterday. Well...almost. Something else made my night.

I went to my favorite Wednesday club last night only to find out the female host that usually takes care of me had resigned. She not only helped me out at her club, but she also shopped religiously at the clothing store I worked at. She is this hot, edgy looking girl but is truly sweet as pie. I was determined not to let this ruin my night - I looked at it as a chance to network with her other co-workers. I think I scored like six phone numbers last night (MOSTLY for networking purposes of course)! AND to top it all off, I ran into a former crush of mine.

When I was in college, there was this half white/half Asian guy in a rival fraternity that was built and very attractive. I had a computer class with him where I swear I caught him staring at me while adjusting his bulge a few times. I would almost get instant hard-ons. We would wear our fraternity shirts to class so I thought maybe this guy is just trying to catch me do something gay so he could use it to slander my fraternity (very juvenile but boys will be boys). So I ignored it. Well after we graduated, I ran into him at my store and kind of befriended him. I saw him maybe once a month after that.

Well he was at the club last night, and when he passed by I instinctively grabbed his bicep to say hi. He then gets this huge smile on his face and gives me a hug that I'm going to have to describe. It's not one of those hugs where the guys have space in between them while they give each other a pat on the back. Nope, this hug was so tight our packages were rubbing up against one another. He then whispered "I'm so glad to see you" so close to my face that I could feel his breath on my cheek. I stepped out of the hug and shouted "I'm glad to see you too!" The music was loud, but if one spoke loudly it would still be audible. I didn't understand why he needed to whisper so close to my face. He proceeds to grab my torso and hold me against him again and whisper "I've missed you. What have you been up to?" At this point his mouth is almost touching the area of my cheek close to my lips. I had to step back or else he would have felt my growing erection. Actually I took a few steps back so he's not able to "hug" me again, and we continued our conversation. Meanwhile I had a co-worker from the nightclub (who doesn't know I'm bi) just kind of look puzzled behind me. I tell my co-worker that this guy hasn't seen me in forever (really it's only been a couple of months) and he's drunk so he's just excited to see me. We didn't have each other's numbers so we exchanged them and said our goodbyes. Well his goodbye included another "hug." I wasn't going to complain but this guy is making it harder and harder for me not to just make out with him, undress him, and fuck on the spot. I'm getting another hard-on right now as I write this!


If you're a straight guy, do you hug other guys like that? To the point where your lips are practically touching each other's faces? Where not just your upper bodies but your lower bodies also meet? This guy is ripped more than I am, and our hugs were so tight I could feel his back, chest, ab, and arm muscles through his shirt. I really even shouldn't call it a hug - it was more of an embrace. Well now at least I've got another option if my flirtation with Gymnast Guy doesn't pay off!

Mexicans & Fresh Meat

Today (or yesterday depending where you are) was Mexican Independence Day. We had tons of Mexican customers at our clothing store over the weekend. The people that are in town from Mexico spend ridiculous amounts of money. I think one customer bought over 40 pieces. I really should know Spanish cause it's part of my heritage, but I just know enough to sell clothes or flirt with someone. While I appreciate the money they spend, they do tend to leave the store looking like a tornado went through it. Is that how they shop in Mexico??

I did my part to celebrate the day by going to this upscale Mexican restaurant/lounge for complimentary dinner and drinks with my co-workers from the nightclub. Can you believe that I didn't have a single alcoholic beverage?? I'm so proud of myself. The cocktail waitress looked at me funny when I said I didn't want any tequila. Part of me wanted a shot so bad, but I've got to be responsible! I have to be up in less than 6 hours, and I didn't need that in my system after such a long day...which brings me to my next topic.

I know it's a little jarring, but let's take a quick rewind to this morning. I woke up to the current president of my fraternity calling for a favor. He was wondering if I could be an alumni speaker at our semi-formal recruitment event tonite. I thought it over for a second, but I had to say no. If you've seen the movie "The Skulls," our semi-formal is like the event that basically called for the prominent alumni of the fraternity to meet with potential new members. I consider myself to be a pretty decent impromptu speaker, but I was annoyed that I was called last minute. I had work and then dinner afterwards anyways so I could only show up to the event for about half an hour at the most....not enough time to stick around and do a speech.

Our event was held at a pretty cool spot -it was like a hidden lounge on the second floor of this huge theater. It was really nice seeing recently initiated brothers, alumni friends, and potential recruits with their dates all dressed up. I was a former recruitment chairman in the fraternity (so I've been in charge of events like these), and I was the last person to successfully bring in a huge number of amazing potential new members (athletes, social directors, musicians, sons of important businessmen) so I have pretty high expectations. I wasn't blown away, but I was pleasantly surprised. There was a pretty good turnout. I was very happy for my active brothers.

Events like these though make me feel a little perverted because I see these younger guys, and I immediately have to remind myself not to look at them as lust objects. I mean these guys could be calling me "brother" by the end of the semester. I'm not saying I haven't had encounters with some of my brothers, but these new guys would almost be 10 years younger than me! I can't be having thoughts like that...well not until they turn 21 at least. So I went around the room and met with the potential recruits that I wanted in the fraternity. I only had half an hour, and I wasn't going to waste it on guys that don't even have what it takes to make a good first impression. It does get a little tedious doing the whole "get-to-know you" introductions again and again with different individuals, but I love meeting people so I've gotten quite efficient and effective at it. I hope the current members favored the same ones I did so they can vote them in, and I can see these new guys in the future. It'll only be a matter of time before someone needs a job or needs a place to party - and I'll be just the brother to ask.

Tired & Not Sleepy

An odd combination, but I'm tired and NOT sleepy. I want to say it's been almost a month that I haven't been able to fall asleep as easily as I'd like to without the assistance of alcohol. To top it off, my body wakes itself up in four to five hours. This is not good for my health. In fact, I think I feel a flu coming. People say it must be stress or having the feeling I've got a lot to do and no time to accomplish them. But there are nights where I'm particularly not stressed yet I still have difficulties with slumber. I tried tiring myself through activity (picture whatever you must cause I've probably done it). No luck. Watched a boring show/movie? Check. Counted sheep? Nope, but I've counted hot guys and girls I want to sleep with! The only thing I haven't tried is warm milk, and I don't drink milk. Oh and I refuse to take sleeping pills. I don't need another addiction.