I'm baaack! I really just haven't had time to put in some good ol' blog time (it takes me a couple of hours putting together just one post between the actual text and the pictures/videos). I wanted to make some changes in my life so the blog has somewhat been the least of my priorities. This doesn't mean I'm totally abandoning it because I still believe it's therapeutic for me, and I've loved sharing my life with you.
One of the things I wanted to change is my body by putting on some mass while going for an eight-pack. Right now, my body's lean (think somewhere in between a runner and a swimmer) and I'd really like to just gain about 10lbs more muscle. I know it's not going to be easy. I started circuit training at the gym 5 days a week about a month ago, and sometimes I even do two-a-days. Wish me luck!
Now to the blog title. There's two guys that work out at my gym that I also work with at the nightclub. One's Jordan (just a reminder that I always change the names to protect our privacy), and he's the one I mentioned in an earlier post that also works in an all-male revue. He's got a lean frame so we have similar difficulties adding mass. We're always eating! This guy is so pretty that local magazines, websites, and other nightclubs have dubbed him as "one of the most beautiful people" in our city. He's also got these gorgeous blue eyes (sorry you can't see!) to go with his blinding smile. One of the things I've realized over the past month is that I'm surrounded by such amazing people that I'm really a fucking idiot for the way I was pining for Gymnast Guy.
Speaking of great eyes, we also have a new co-worker named Jeremy. Except his eyes are green. At first I thought the guy was going to be a meathead, but he's actually turned out to be one of my favorites at work in a very short time. He's very down-to-earth despite his past job with Playgirl, and he's even offered to personally train me at no cost! If I did have a new crush, it would be this guy. It doesn't help that he's confided in me that he sometimes does "muscle cam" for extra money. I almost asked if he masturbated on camera, but I thought that would have been too telling. He voluntarily shared that it wasn't totally nude. Uh huh. He says he finds it interesting that gay guys ask to be humiliated online. Oh did I mention this guy is straight? His feelings about money makes me think he can be convinced to do gay-for-pay porn if the price is right. I'm not saying he's a gold digger, but I think he has grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle which his job at the club isn't paying for.
As I'm writing this, I do realize some parts of my life are quite unbelievable. Is this guy for real? The answer is yes. I guess I'm a very lucky person. But the grass is always greener on the other side, right? I'm not totally happy with my life or myself, and that's why I initially started this blog. I don't think I've been really "in love" yet. I'm not yet in a job that I would consider a career. I'm in a pre-midlife crisis! (I'll save that topic for another post.)