Monday, September 29, 2008

The Dating Show & The Dating Game

I shouldn't have left you hanging with what happened during my day off earlier in the week. I was totally shocked when I saw Gymnast Guy on TV. Just when I thought he couldn't look hotter...he did. And just when I thought I was getting over how charming he was...it was right there on national television. In fact, he ended up winning the guy over. The "guy" in question had actually been on another reality show before. I immediately looked online to find information on this reality guy. Most sites pointed to the fact that he is still single. Boy was I relieved.

I then proceeded to text Gymnast Guy about the situation in a very nonchalant manner.

Me: "Saw you in a dating show on TV today."
GG: "How funny. And embarrassing!"

He does end up revealing in the dating show that there's nude pictures of him out there. Yep...you read that right. I already found them of course (but I didn't tell him that). I'm so glad the internet was created. Let's just say if I had any hope of losing my crush on this guy, it's pretty much gone. This guy's great physical features definitely extend below the belt. I'm in love. Or am I?

I'm very aware that I don't have a relationship or even a real friendship with this guy. So of course it's not love. I also ask myself if I'm really attracted to him or just the idea of him. Is it because he's one of the few I've recently been interested in that hasn't just thrown him/herself at me? Do I just crave the challenge? Why do we play these games? I mean I am in a weird situation cause I'm his manager, but so what? I've got a ton of questions with no clear answers.

After that day, I vowed not to call or even answer any of his texts back. He must have read my mind cause he didn't contact me. And I was actually doing a pretty good job of keeping myself occupied. The guy I met Thursday night was a good distraction. But I was going to have to run into GG at work sooner or later. And that happened today. He showed up to work. On his day off.


He said he wanted to change his availability. I told him to talk to another manager. I acted distant and immediately pretended to help customers. But not for long. After he was done, he found me. His warm smile was too hard to resist. We had a conversation that I just wanted to go on forever even though I had stuff to do. I did remind myself that showing this guy too much attention might just make me seem less attractive so I tried to end our chat. But he just kept going. About working out. About the show he just saw that day. About how his parents will be in town next weekend and how he wants to take them to the lounge that's part of the nightclub I work at. WTF? Sure it's one of the top clubs in the country, but if my parents were visiting it wouldn't be one of the first places I'd take them. Is he toying with me? Anyways I finally got Gymnast Guy to leave. Even though I didn't want him to...

A bright idea popped into my head after work, and I thought maybe I can ask him out as a friend to go to a show this week. So I texted him to see if he was free Tuesday night at 10p to go see it. He's just getting out of his other job by that time. Included in the text was a sad face. That pretty much summed up how I felt too. This would officially be Strike Two. (Strike One was the time I asked him out to dinner.) I'm not a sadomasochist so I'm trying one more time, and if it doesn't happen, I'm gonna have to give the chase up. You would think in my line of work I would be used to it by now, but I just don't seem take rejection very well.

And here's another song (I stole from Gossip Girl last season) that is on repeat on my Ipod right now. I love the metaphors in the lyrics.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Style & The Well-Dressed Guy

I started this blog thinking I would be able to post daily - boy was I wrong! Between balancing two jobs and actually having something substantial to post about, blogging on a daily basis can be very challenging. So after a few days of absence, I've decided to share a little of my past on here. Well...something did happen Thursday night that prompted me to give you readers some back history.

I was working at the nightclub entertaining some friends that were celebrating their birthdays together (trust me I'm getting sick of birtdays too). Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a really cute guy giving me a look of recognition. He had brown hair, a lean build, and a boy-next-door look. I don't really make the first move on guys considering I'm not really out of the closet so I just continued to chat with my friends. Next thing I know, the cute guy touches me on the elbow and asks me if I was at a certain hotel the other day. I was. The guy says he recognized me because of the way I was dressed that night (a fitted gray sweater vest, a navy skinny tie, a striped blue shirt and charcoal pants) and that very moment (a dark aquamarine shirt, a black vest, a b&w striped narrow tie, and black pinstriped pants). I thanked him, and I was glad it was dark cause I started blushing. We exchanged names (we'll call him Noah). He asked me what I was doing at the hotel that night (I was visiting a friend at the bar) , and I asked him what he did there (he's in accounting). Noah also introduced me to his friend who looked a little annoyed. I thought maybe his friend was straight and didn't approve of us having a conversation that excluded him so I grabbed a couple of my female friends and introduced them. He didn't seem interested in them. So Noah and I started wrapping up our conversation, and I gave him my business card. I didn't really know how to ask for his phone number so I missed my opportunity. When am I going to learn? While the whole interaction did make me smile, it also made me remember that I wasn't always the well-dressed guy.


In fact, between high school and college I went through about three fashion phases. During 9th grade, I had somewhat of a nerdy/grunge look - I had acne, braces, and wore oversized plaid shirts and baggy jeans. The high school in-crowd took me in during 11th grade after I ditched the braces and lost the acne. My style switched to a hip-hop look since that's what was in at the time. I still wore baggy jeans but I wore Adidas, a lot of jerseys and bright colored XXL activewear even though I was only a Medium. By the time I won Homecoming King I was leaning towards more of a preppy look. This helped me a lot when I was rushing fraternities in college. I wanted to be a part of one of the two best fraternities on campus - one which resembled an Abercrombie & Fitch ad and the other looked and acted very spoiled like the guys from the movie The Skulls. I'll let you guess which one I ended up joining.

I started working at the clothing store as a sales associate my freshman year in college, and it's taught me a lot about fashion and style. The two can actually be very different. Someone can be very fashionable but lack a sense of personal style. I've only decided within the past couple of years that I would rather be known for having a sense of style than always wearing the latest trends. I'm still working on editing my wardrobe cause I'm somewhat of a shopaholic, but it's all coming together. And with what happened Thursday night, it looks like my decision to pick style over fashion has paid off.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A Day Off & Errands

What's a typical day off in my life like? I didn't have anything too major happen to me in the past couple of days so I thought I'd share what I did today.

3:00am. Finally fall asleep.

9:00am. Wake up to an e-mail from my district manager at the clothing store commending me on the district hiring report I created. She wants me to do it weekly. I decide to reply later and go back to sleep.

11:00am. Really wake up this time. I tell myself I'm not going to call or even think about Gymnast Guy today. I go on my laptop to reply to e-mails and surf the 'net for a bit.

12:30pm. Leave for the gym.

1:00pm. One of my cute male co-workers from the nightclub (who's also in an all male revue) surprises me by putting his hands on my abs telling me to hold them tight while I do wide-grip pulldowns.


1:30pm. Run on the treadmill. This is my first time doing cardio in almost a year. I'm an ectomorph, and it's hard to pack on mass especially if I do cardio. I avoided doing it for as long as I can, but I realized that if I want to turn my 6-pack into an 8-pack I would need it.

2:00pm. Get back home. I turn the TV on while I go on Amazon.com adding some DVDs like the first season of Dirty, Sexy Money to my wish list. Finish my acai protein shake.

3:00pm. My friend Amy calls and asks me to take her to the shop to pick up her car. Amy's one of those girls that guys can never say no to because she's this hot bad girl with a sweet side (and a smokin' body). So of course I agree. She tells me she owes me dinner. Not a bad deal.

3:45pm. After dropping her off, I pick up some groceries at the organic supermarket.

4:15pm. Stop by a Mexican grill to get a chicken bowl with brown rice.

4:30pm. Make it back home. Turn on the TV. As I begin to eat my chicken bowl, I recognize the guy on the screen. Gymnast Guy is on some reality dating show. I wish I was making this shit up.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Rejection & Horror

Another busy weekend has gone by. I worked with Gymnast Guy on Friday. It was only for four hours, but I enjoy every minute I get to see him. After work, I went to a birthday party held at a bar on the other side of town. At a little after 11pm, I received a text from Gymnast Guy telling me how he appreciated my "positive energy" at work and how he wishes me a happy weekend. Out of excitement, I texted back that he makes it easy for me to be positive, and if he'll consider going to dinner with me next week.

After an hour and a half, no response.

I then realized how much of a huge HR issue I've just created. I quickly texted him back apologizing for my inappropriate question and asking him if we can just forget I ever asked it. I concentrated on the birthday girl to get my mind away from the situation. She's so trashed after four drinks that she asks me why we've never dated because we would make a great couple. I just laughed awkwardly. My friend's a pretty hot blond, but she's slept with a couple of guys in my fraternity so I was not about to take sloppy thirds. I headed home around 1am and checked my Blackberry.

Still no reply.

So many thoughts are racing through my head at this point. Did he feel sexually harassed? Am I not his type? Did he want to say yes but wanted to keep things professional? He had a huge audition on Sunday so did he just ignore my text so I won't be a distraction? I needed to sleep so I tried to clear my mind.


The next day I just focused on work. I checked my phone on my break and there was an unread message from him. I freak out a little. It says "You're fine. Are you at work or are you off?" WTF? I tell him I'm on break at work. He texts back asking for his schedule if I'm not too busy. I started feeling really confused. I hope this guy doesn't think he has me wrapped around his finger. I might have asked him out, but if I'm getting rejected (which is highly likely in this case) I don't like to wallow in self-pity wondering what could have been. After work, I went to another birthday dinner to relax and try to forget the insanity. A friend happened to be a manager at this Asian fusion restaurant so we ended up having half of our meal/drinks comped!

Anyways, I received an email early Sunday morning from Gymnast Guy. It had a link to a Youtube video of a Worship song. A song about the Lord. I'm Catholic, but I don't forward religious songs. What is up with this guy? I texted him wishing him good luck on his huge audition without mention of his e-mail. I couldn't even really think about him cause it was going to be a very sad day. I had to go to one of my salespeople's father's funeral AND I was going to hang out with a really good friend one last time before she moves out of town. Is it just me or people are either dying, celebrating a birthday, or moving out of town every week? Not a very good combination.

My friend (we'll call her Parvathy) is quite rare. She comes from a pretty wealthy family, but she has always been pretty independent. I met her while she was studying to be a doctor here in the US (she was already one in India) when she was one of my former part-time cashiers at the clothing store. We share a love for horror movies so we went to go see one the last night we were able to hang out. We saw "Mirrors" starring Kiefer Sutherland. I thought it was pretty horrible. It did spark a debate between us about two different types of horror movies. She happens to love supernatural ones but doesn't think horror films with human killers are scary at all. I think it really depends on the movie. To me, it doesn't matter if a killer is a ghost or a human. If the movie delivers in setting up the atmosphere and the characters correctly, I will be scared. My favorite movies include a mixture of both - The Ring, Scream, Rosemary's Baby, Night of the Living Dead, Grudge, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre (this list does go on). What scares you?

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Hugs & Crushes

Several months ago, my friend and I were hanging out by this gorgeous fountain surrounded by a beautiful garden. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted three beautiful women just kind of standing there. Part of my job at the nightclub I work at is increasing our hot clientele, so I immediately grabbed my friend to talk to these ladies. We said hello, introduced ourselves, and asked if they were just visiting (cause the fountain was somewhat of a tourist spot). I found out they were Miss America contestants, but that one of them was actually thinking of moving here. She was actually the most receptive out of the three so I was very excited. I invited them to have drinks later, but they declined. They had to get a full night's sleep and get up early to look refreshed for a show they were filming - completely understandable. I exchanged numbers with the one moving here (we'll call her Katie) so that we can keep in touch. As I was still reeling from shock that I met three of the most beautiful women in America, my friend and I said goodbye.


I received a text from Katie over the summer saying she broke up with her boyfriend who was supposed to move into town with her. I was sympathetic, but a little happy inside. You might be thinking...wow this guy's a predator hoping to score with a vulnerable chick on the rebound. But that is far from the truth. Yeah, I'm very infatuated with her (she's a fuckin knockout), but this girl is also sweet and genuine. Not something I would expect from a pageant candidate. If I'm not her type, I hope to at least get a good friend out of it. Anyways she told me she was going to be out of the country for Miss America goodwill projects but that she'll move into town after that.

Well yesterday I finally talked to her and found out she had moved here already. Gymnast Guy might make me feel like a schoolgirl, but Katie makes me feel like a schoolboy! We haven't made specific plans yet (cause I'm very busy this week...birthday and going away parties again - go figure), but I told her I'm taking her out on the town as soon as I get the chance. She loves the idea - I can't wait! That just made my whole day yesterday. Well...almost. Something else made my night.

I went to my favorite Wednesday club last night only to find out the female host that usually takes care of me had resigned. She not only helped me out at her club, but she also shopped religiously at the clothing store I worked at. She is this hot, edgy looking girl but is truly sweet as pie. I was determined not to let this ruin my night - I looked at it as a chance to network with her other co-workers. I think I scored like six phone numbers last night (MOSTLY for networking purposes of course)! AND to top it all off, I ran into a former crush of mine.

When I was in college, there was this half white/half Asian guy in a rival fraternity that was built and very attractive. I had a computer class with him where I swear I caught him staring at me while adjusting his bulge a few times. I would almost get instant hard-ons. We would wear our fraternity shirts to class so I thought maybe this guy is just trying to catch me do something gay so he could use it to slander my fraternity (very juvenile but boys will be boys). So I ignored it. Well after we graduated, I ran into him at my store and kind of befriended him. I saw him maybe once a month after that.

Well he was at the club last night, and when he passed by I instinctively grabbed his bicep to say hi. He then gets this huge smile on his face and gives me a hug that I'm going to have to describe. It's not one of those hugs where the guys have space in between them while they give each other a pat on the back. Nope, this hug was so tight our packages were rubbing up against one another. He then whispered "I'm so glad to see you" so close to my face that I could feel his breath on my cheek. I stepped out of the hug and shouted "I'm glad to see you too!" The music was loud, but if one spoke loudly it would still be audible. I didn't understand why he needed to whisper so close to my face. He proceeds to grab my torso and hold me against him again and whisper "I've missed you. What have you been up to?" At this point his mouth is almost touching the area of my cheek close to my lips. I had to step back or else he would have felt my growing erection. Actually I took a few steps back so he's not able to "hug" me again, and we continued our conversation. Meanwhile I had a co-worker from the nightclub (who doesn't know I'm bi) just kind of look puzzled behind me. I tell my co-worker that this guy hasn't seen me in forever (really it's only been a couple of months) and he's drunk so he's just excited to see me. We didn't have each other's numbers so we exchanged them and said our goodbyes. Well his goodbye included another "hug." I wasn't going to complain but this guy is making it harder and harder for me not to just make out with him, undress him, and fuck on the spot. I'm getting another hard-on right now as I write this!


If you're a straight guy, do you hug other guys like that? To the point where your lips are practically touching each other's faces? Where not just your upper bodies but your lower bodies also meet? This guy is ripped more than I am, and our hugs were so tight I could feel his back, chest, ab, and arm muscles through his shirt. I really even shouldn't call it a hug - it was more of an embrace. Well now at least I've got another option if my flirtation with Gymnast Guy doesn't pay off!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Mexicans & Fresh Meat

Today (or yesterday depending where you are) was Mexican Independence Day. We had tons of Mexican customers at our clothing store over the weekend. The people that are in town from Mexico spend ridiculous amounts of money. I think one customer bought over 40 pieces. I really should know Spanish cause it's part of my heritage, but I just know enough to sell clothes or flirt with someone. While I appreciate the money they spend, they do tend to leave the store looking like a tornado went through it. Is that how they shop in Mexico??


I did my part to celebrate the day by going to this upscale Mexican restaurant/lounge for complimentary dinner and drinks with my co-workers from the nightclub. Can you believe that I didn't have a single alcoholic beverage?? I'm so proud of myself. The cocktail waitress looked at me funny when I said I didn't want any tequila. Part of me wanted a shot so bad, but I've got to be responsible! I have to be up in less than 6 hours, and I didn't need that in my system after such a long day...which brings me to my next topic.

I know it's a little jarring, but let's take a quick rewind to this morning. I woke up to the current president of my fraternity calling for a favor. He was wondering if I could be an alumni speaker at our semi-formal recruitment event tonite. I thought it over for a second, but I had to say no. If you've seen the movie "The Skulls," our semi-formal is like the event that basically called for the prominent alumni of the fraternity to meet with potential new members. I consider myself to be a pretty decent impromptu speaker, but I was annoyed that I was called last minute. I had work and then dinner afterwards anyways so I could only show up to the event for about half an hour at the most....not enough time to stick around and do a speech.

Our event was held at a pretty cool spot -it was like a hidden lounge on the second floor of this huge theater. It was really nice seeing recently initiated brothers, alumni friends, and potential recruits with their dates all dressed up. I was a former recruitment chairman in the fraternity (so I've been in charge of events like these), and I was the last person to successfully bring in a huge number of amazing potential new members (athletes, social directors, musicians, sons of important businessmen) so I have pretty high expectations. I wasn't blown away, but I was pleasantly surprised. There was a pretty good turnout. I was very happy for my active brothers.


Events like these though make me feel a little perverted because I see these younger guys, and I immediately have to remind myself not to look at them as lust objects. I mean these guys could be calling me "brother" by the end of the semester. I'm not saying I haven't had encounters with some of my brothers, but these new guys would almost be 10 years younger than me! I can't be having thoughts like that...well not until they turn 21 at least. So I went around the room and met with the potential recruits that I wanted in the fraternity. I only had half an hour, and I wasn't going to waste it on guys that don't even have what it takes to make a good first impression. It does get a little tedious doing the whole "get-to-know you" introductions again and again with different individuals, but I love meeting people so I've gotten quite efficient and effective at it. I hope the current members favored the same ones I did so they can vote them in, and I can see these new guys in the future. It'll only be a matter of time before someone needs a job or needs a place to party - and I'll be just the brother to ask.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Tired & Not Sleepy


An odd combination, but I'm tired and NOT sleepy. I want to say it's been almost a month that I haven't been able to fall asleep as easily as I'd like to without the assistance of alcohol. To top it off, my body wakes itself up in four to five hours. This is not good for my health. In fact, I think I feel a flu coming. People say it must be stress or having the feeling I've got a lot to do and no time to accomplish them. But there are nights where I'm particularly not stressed yet I still have difficulties with slumber. I tried tiring myself through activity (picture whatever you must cause I've probably done it). No luck. Watched a boring show/movie? Check. Counted sheep? Nope, but I've counted hot guys and girls I want to sleep with! The only thing I haven't tried is warm milk, and I don't drink milk. Oh and I refuse to take sleeping pills. I don't need another addiction.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Kiss & Tell

My landlord/former roommate/fraternity brother (we'll call him Chase) is back in town for the weekend. He just moved about a week ago, but needed to come back for his haircut and laser hair removal appointments (we had quite a high maintenance household at one point). Last night, he invited a mutual friend of ours over so we can all hang out. She brought up that once upon a time she had a huge crush on me, but we just made out and then I wanted nothing to do with her (the truth was that I sensed she may be a little clingy/crazy which she truly is). I countered with the fact that I was talking to another girl at the time. We'll call her Diane. Chase started sharing about how he met Diane first, and they fooled around before I even met her. Now this is true, and I was fully aware of what happened, but Chase continued to share *in detail* the things they did in the bedroom. I was VERY annoyed at this point.

Here's some backstory. Diane and I hooked up at a fraternity formal I took her to, and that night she told me that nothing had happened between her and Chase except for kissing. I was relieved because I didn't like dating girls that have had sex with close friends of mine. Diane and I "talked" for a little after that, but we just ended up becoming good friends because we were at two very different points in our lives - she was a freshman in college, and I had been out of college for a year. I even ended up getting her a job at the clothing store. Back to last night. I'm very irritated cause:

A) Diane said they never really did anything but kiss
B) Chase has hooked up with girls that I've hooked up with beforehand, BUT I never bring them up
C) Why the fuck would you bring shit up like that in front of another girl?


I don't like sharing my bedroom activities with everyone. Maybe a few close friends but definitely not in a group setting. Even when I was active in the fraternity, the most I would do is give the guys a number of girls I've slept with in each sorority but never their names or any specific details. I always felt that to do so would have been unbecoming of a gentleman. What do you think? Have we become such an open society that we're encouraged to talk about the details of our sex lives even when we're not asking for advice? I know it's different when discussed over a blog cause most of the time it's anonymous, but what happens when it's people you know in real life?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Sticky & Sweet

Sorry for my late post this week. The past couple of days have been hectic. I finally grew some balls and asked out Gymnast Guy on Monday. Well...kind of. My co-workers from the nightclub and I had a few complimentary tables and bottles at this popular martini bar Monday night so I took the opportunity to invite him along. That's when I found out he didn't drink alcohol. I was so impressed with this fact that it just made me like him even more. I told him that I would just have to find a dry activity for us to do (well to be honest hopefully anything that I would do with this guy would end up with us getting wet)!

That night actually turned out to be pretty fun. I ran into a former salesperson of mine, and she introduced me to a really nice girl who worked at a strip club. She was a cocktail waitress not a stripper though. This is great because I'm always looking for new clients for the club especially ones that work in a mostly female environment. I also got to hang out with one of my cute new co-workers from the club, and she turned out to be pretty awesome too. She just moved into town a couple of weeks ago. I hope she doesn't get jaded by this city. We were all having such a good time that after the martini bar, we all went to breakfast.


The next morning, the very first text I receive was from Gymnast Guy asking how the previous night went. Man I feel like a schoolgirl everytime I bring up this guy. I wonder if it's just a crush....hopefully not. Anyways, he also told me that he would be getting his wisdom teeth removed this week so he needed help getting his shifts covered. I told him he didn't have to worry about coming to work (we were cutting payroll anyway cause business has been pretty slow) and I also told him that if he needed anything (including me being his male nurse) I would gladly oblige. And yes, part of me thinks I'm being an idiot for throwing myself at him, but I rarely do it, and I know the consequences so it's ok. (I just hope I don't reek of desperation.) He then says that he might take me up on that offer. Good. But then he calls me a really "sweet" guy. I don't know what it is about that word, but "sweet" wasn't an adjective I would normally use to describe myself (or would want people to use to describe me). It's like the word "nice." Is this his way of telling me I'm not his type?


Overreacting aside, I'll just take it for what it is and see what happens. On that note, I'm going to leave you with one of my recent favorite workout songs by Santogold. It was played during a scene in the show Gossip Girl (a guilty pleasure of mine...it's a cross between Cruel Intentions and The OC - two other personal favorites so don't laugh unless you've seen it) this week so hopefully it'll gain a wider audience. She reminds me of MIA so if you like that kind of music, you would love Santogold!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

A Girl & A Guy

My neighbor/clubbing partner-in-crime's birthday dinner was last night. I knew a lot of her friends, including one that's an aspiring model for Abercrombie & Fitch. We'll call her AF Girl. I saved AF Girl a seat by me because we have a very flirtatious friendship, and I really enjoy her company. Throughout dinner, we were having a great time just making inside jokes and talking about how we were the best looking couple there (yeah I know we're both pretty vain...get over it). But then I noticed that there were a couple of newcomers to dinner. There were about four tables combined into a single one, and we were on one end so we weren't always aware of what was going on in the opposite side. A very cute guy had arrived and sat next to the birthday girl. I assumed this was one of the many guys the birthday girl had dated so I didn't even pay him any attention...until I caught him looking at me from across the tables.

I smiled, and so did he. Then it felt awkward so we went back to the conversations we were having. When I glanced over his way again, he was looking right back at me. Well nobody at the table knew I was bi so I couldn't really act on it despite my strong urge to at that very moment. After dinner, AF Girl and I went to a martini bar for a quick pre-drink before we all headed to the club. I knew several of the bartenders there, and one of them made a comment of how I'm always surrounded by pretty women...which was technically a compliment for me, but I think it made AF Girl a little uncomfortable. So we left after one drink.


At the club, the cute guy at dinner was standing right next to me so I had to introduce myself. We were making small talk, and I found out that he met the birthday girl online when he graduated high school and was looking for potential college friends. I found that a little creepy...but who am I to judge? I write about my life and let strangers read it. So I digress. Plus he's still very cute with his perfectly tousled hair and toned body. I also learned he was almost 6 years younger than me which was not ideal, but if I'm just looking for fun, age is nothing but a number (unless it's under 21 or over 40 - I have to draw the line somewhere). We continued to talk, but then I noticed AF Girl start to gyrate her butt in front of my crotch, and I couldn't pass up a chance to dance! We danced for about 2o minutes and then sat down. I looked for cute guy, but he was now talking to this amateur golfer that's with our party. This amateur golfer was cute too but more in a dirty Vince Vaughn sort of way. I wanted to hook up with someone, but AF Girl wanted to go to another club and cute boy was now talking to another guy! When will I learn that I have to move quickly if I want something? I guess I'm still a little afraid of casual sex cause of a few scares in the past, but I need action soon dammit. Am I being delusional if I'm saving myself for Gymnast Guy? Only time will tell.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Sandwiches & Straight Guys

You've probably heard of gay porn actor Kurt Wild getting fired from his daytime job at Subway. If not, basically a customer recognized him and angrily told the manager to fire Kurt or else he will lose him as a customer. The manager sided with the customer and decided to let Kurt go. WTF? Whatever happened to suspending employees until further investigation? How did the manager know to believe the customer....a customer who obviously watches gay porn enough to know how the actor looks like even in a Subway uniform? Was the self-loathing customer just pissed that Kurt ruined his image of what a porn actor should be like in real life? I'm just glad I don't like Subway to begin with so boycotting it wouldn't be a problem.


A question I had amidst all this is...if gay porn pays well, why is Kurt even working at Subway? He doesn't seem like he's given up porn quite yet so we know it's not his only job. I heard he's also "straight" as in married with kids. I'll never understand how "straight" guys can do gay porn. I'm bisexual because I like sex with both men and women...isn't that pretty much what these actors are? They say they actually love women and with men, sex is just a job. I'm not being judgmental...just a little confused. The whole concept of gay-for-pay is definitely interesting though. Is it all part of the whole fantasy for gay men to enjoy porn more? That REAL straight guys are getting fucked in the ass or swallowing a cock? And people wonder why some homosexuals think it's possible to seduce heterosexuals! Maybe we should all just get rid of these ridiculous labels - you love who you love right? (And I'm not talking about pedophilia...that's a whole different topic!)

Birthdays & Gifts

I guess this weekend just happens to be Birthday Weekend. Let's count them:

1) one of my fraternity little brother's birthday was technically yesterday (Friday)
2) my neighbor/clubbing partner-in-crime's birthday is today (Saturday)
3) my roommate's birthday is tomorrow (Sunday)
4) one of my hot guy friends from a neighboring state's birthday is sometime this weekend
5) one of my favorite fraternity brother's REAL brother's birthday is also sometime this weekend

I obviously don't know the actual days of the last two but I could care less when they really are - I just appreciate the fact that they're in town because of it. I just got home from a VERY late birthday dinner (started at 1am) at a Japanese restaurant that serves Teppanyaki which I highly recommend. It's when they cook fried rice, vegetables, and steak/shrimp/chicken/etc. right in front of you in an entertaining manner. My bill alone came to over $100! (I did buy the birthday boy a couple of shots.) I'm positive this is just the beginning of an extremely expensive weekend.


My fraternity brother (the brother of #5) wants to go get a cabana by the pool tomorrow. So does #4. Then #2 has a dinner planned with a table at a club afterwards during the evening. I'm trying to convince #1, #3, and #5 to all go so I don't have to go club-hopping. #3 just wants me to plan a pool party on Sunday. And on top of it all...I haven't bought any gifts for any of them yet! I'm a horrible friend! Which brings me to the subject of gifts. I use several approaches in my selection process of presents. My favorite one, of course, is just basing my decision on what I know the celebrant would want. Other approaches include asking that person's best friend (if they don't happen to be me) or just asking the person directly. I hate that last one, but I sometimes have to resort to it especially if the person doesn't care for random gifts. What do you think? We would all love to have friends that could read our minds and get us exactly what we want, but we know that is always not the case. What do you do then?

Thursday, September 4, 2008

The Bisexual & The Gays

What a long day. Just got home from the club, and I have to be up in less than 4 hours to get ready to be at work again. Why am I blogging? Cause I can't sleep right away. Damn those energy drinks. Plus there were a lot of things I wanted to share about today...

1) Worked out lower body today. I HATE working out legs, but I realize the importance of this muscle group. And I don't really know why I have to work out the lower back, but it's part of my routine for the lower body. Is it suppose to help my spine? Anyone care to shed some light?

2) I got to work with Gymnast Guy today! It was a little anticlimactic though...he's not as stylish as I would hope he'd be (I can fix that), but he was a pleasure to work with. I kept trying to figure out how I can get this guy to ask me to hang out with him outside of work without being too obvious, but I had too many tasks to take care of. Maybe I misread his earlier signs...or maybe he just wants to be professional. Either way I'm playing with fire trying to go on a date with one of my employees (I've done it successfully in the past before - but they were female and I wouldn't really call what we did dating). After work he texted me about "buddying up with him and giving him some cashier training." Wish it was only as dirty as it sounds. What should I do? How can I ask him out without really asking him out?


3) One of my super flamboyant employees asked for the night off so he can audition to be a go-go dancer at a gay club. I told him to break a leg.

4) One of our regular gay customers asked me who the new guy was, and of course he was talking about Gymnast Guy. I told him he's one of our awesome new employees, and all my customer could say is "well he's also gay and I think you should put in a good word for me." Which to me meant to tell Gymnast Guy absolutely nothing. I'm just glad my customer didn't have the balls to strike up a conversation with him. Man, look how protective I'm getting! And we're not even dating! I really need someone to tell me how lame I'm being.

5) Met some Asian girls today. Two hot ones and a fat one. Why is there always a fat one in the group? And they tend to be the mean ones! Anyways the cute ones wanted to visit me at the club tomorrow night, but the look on their friend's face tells me there might be a change of plans. Oh well.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

A Promoter & A Controller

Hopefully you understand why I had to take the day off yesterday. Just ended up going to the gym (finally) and hung out with some friends. Today was my first day back at my clothing retail job, and it began with our weekly management meeting. Our General Manager wanted to us to participate in a quick activity which would hopefully improve the recent communication breakdown we've had in our team (due to the fact there's been a lot of fighting, gossiping, and sabotaging going on....let me know if you want the details). We took a quiz that would determine our "behavioral function." There's basically four categories you can fall into: controller, analyzer, supporter, and promoter. And after understanding how each behavioral type functioned, we would all *hopefully* learn how to adapt our communication style in our approach with one another. Here's a quick rundown of each (pictures courtesy of chad-white.com):


The controller is a doer. He leads others and is often the driving force within an organization. He is characterized by an emphasis on action and results. He is like the alpha dog who must lead the pack. Because he places high standards on himself and others, he is likely to be seen as constructively impatient and a tireless worker.

An analyzer is characterized by analysis, details, logic, and systematic inquiry, and may appear a bit stiff. He functions in a steady, tenacious manner, finding great satisfaction in identifying a problem, weighing options carefully, and testing them to determine the best possible solution. The analyzer is of great value as a logical thinker who provides objectivity to a complex problem. He won’t be the life of the party, but he will show up on time!

The supporter is concerned with people. He is often sought out for his ability to empathize and for his patience with others during a time of crisis. An understanding listener, he can identify change in ways that reduce conflict and increase the likelihood of cooperation and teamwork. A weakness among supporters is their tendency to become emotional, which may be viewed as a substitution for taking action. Of the four personality types, the supporter is the most likely to retreat in a time of conflict.

The promoter is the “big picture” person. The promoter is seen as a leader and a visionary capable of seeing new possibilities that others do not. His style is characterized by heavy emphasis on ideas, innovation, concepts, and long-range thinking. He is not inclined to take things for granted. The promoter will challenge you—not because he is hostile – but because he has learned the value of probing to uncover new ideas. This is a person with a strong ego who can come across as “superior” and can be condescending in his communications. He is quick thinking and a quick wit.

Which one sounds like you? After the quiz, it was no surprise to anybody that I was a "promoter." Looking at my results, I also had some "controller" qualities. Great, I'm an egotistical leader. Guess that explains how I approach certain situations. The more I think about it, the more I appreciate that little self-test cause now I feel like I can handle people with different personalities or behavioral types. Well I'm off to bed, and I get to work with Gymnast Guy tomorrow so wish me luck. Sorry to go all lecture mode on you today....just remember - I'm a promoter, and I'm probably just seeing a new possibility you're not!