Work & Working Out: Jordan & Jeremy

I'm baaack! I really just haven't had time to put in some good ol' blog time (it takes me a couple of hours putting together just one post between the actual text and the pictures/videos). I wanted to make some changes in my life so the blog has somewhat been the least of my priorities. This doesn't mean I'm totally abandoning it because I still believe it's therapeutic for me, and I've loved sharing my life with you.

One of the things I wanted to change is my body by putting on some mass while going for an eight-pack. Right now, my body's lean (think somewhere in between a runner and a swimmer) and I'd really like to just gain about 10lbs more muscle. I know it's not going to be easy. I started circuit training at the gym 5 days a week about a month ago, and sometimes I even do two-a-days. Wish me luck!

Now to the blog title. There's two guys that work out at my gym that I also work with at the nightclub. One's Jordan (just a reminder that I always change the names to protect our privacy), and he's the one I mentioned in an earlier post that also works in an all-male revue. He's got a lean frame so we have similar difficulties adding mass. We're always eating! This guy is so pretty that local magazines, websites, and other nightclubs have dubbed him as "one of the most beautiful people" in our city. He's also got these gorgeous blue eyes (sorry you can't see!) to go with his blinding smile. One of the things I've realized over the past month is that I'm surrounded by such amazing people that I'm really a fucking idiot for the way I was pining for Gymnast Guy.


Speaking of great eyes, we also have a new co-worker named Jeremy. Except his eyes are green. At first I thought the guy was going to be a meathead, but he's actually turned out to be one of my favorites at work in a very short time. He's very down-to-earth despite his past job with Playgirl, and he's even offered to personally train me at no cost! If I did have a new crush, it would be this guy. It doesn't help that he's confided in me that he sometimes does "muscle cam" for extra money. I almost asked if he masturbated on camera, but I thought that would have been too telling. He voluntarily shared that it wasn't totally nude. Uh huh. He says he finds it interesting that gay guys ask to be humiliated online. Oh did I mention this guy is straight? His feelings about money makes me think he can be convinced to do gay-for-pay porn if the price is right. I'm not saying he's a gold digger, but I think he has grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle which his job at the club isn't paying for.

As I'm writing this, I do realize some parts of my life are quite unbelievable. Is this guy for real? The answer is yes. I guess I'm a very lucky person. But the grass is always greener on the other side, right? I'm not totally happy with my life or myself, and that's why I initially started this blog. I don't think I've been really "in love" yet. I'm not yet in a job that I would consider a career. I'm in a pre-midlife crisis! (I'll save that topic for another post.)

Bad Drivers & Bad Decisions

On my way home last night, I was stopping at a slope behind two cars in front of a red light. Then the light turned green. The car in the very front moved forward and made a left. The car in front of me didn't move. Then it started to literally roll backward. I honked my horn twice before realizing this car was not moving. I quickly tried to shift to reverse, but by the time I did, the car had bumped into the front of mine! I was still trying to recover from the shock as I drove behind the car to pull over to the side of the road. The light blue Ford Focus then quickly switched lanes and took off! I tried to speed to catch up to the car, but it had made several left turns, and I got stuck at a red light. I was sooo pissed.

I was stopping by my friend's house so we checked the front of my car and only found a tiny scratch. I'm so lucky that my car's sturdy! I didn't get the license plate anyways so I guess it all worked out for the better. There really weren't any witnesses so calling the cops to report a hit-and-run that didn't do any real damage would have been silly. I'm still pretty angry that there's people out there that run away from responsibility.

Another thing that's been pissing me off is the passing of Prop 8. Countdown on MSNBC's Keith Olbermann couldn't have articulated my feelings more in this special comment.

Barack/Biden & Bowties

I'm officially part of history. I voted for the very first time last week, and well...you all know the results. I'm extremely excited to see what happens next. I do hope there's some really great change on the horizon. What bothers me though is that there's already talk about a huge possibility someone's going to assassinate Obama. The guy just got elected, and there's already negativity?!! Regardless, I think Biden would make a better president than Palin any day. I keep thinking about the prank call those Canadian DJs made to her, and I'm still embarrassed that we entertained the thought of electing her as a potential VP!


One of the many things I do admire about Obama is his style. The guy was on the cover of GQ for a reason. Now I don't want you thinking I voted based on that (I bet there's people who did), but I do think the president of one of the leading countries in the world should look the part.

Speaking of style, I've recently bought a couple of bow ties. I'm still trying to reduce my wardrobe, but I feel an investment in new furnishings/accessories that will make some of my existing shirts/pants look updated is necessary. A bow tie is not just for formal events anymore. I think they're just like regular ties in the sense that they can be paired with a shirt worn with denim. I'm not even sure if I'm catching the trend as it starts or as it's on its way out, but I don't really care. I think they add a quirky elegance to any outfit. What do you think?

Halloween & Election

I love Halloween. I enjoy horror movies so that should have been a given! And it's not just about the creepy part for me, but I also love that most people find ways to show off their bodies. Last year, I dressed up as a soldier from the movie 300 cause I went to the biggest themed party at a nightclub, and the theme was the movie. I'm guessing everybody that worked at that club had to have a gym membership of some sort cause there were hot bodies everywhere, and most were employees! It was funny cause I had to convince people that I didn't work there...just playing along with the theme.

That club's theme this year was Heroes & Villains. Another one of my favorite things! I had the hardest time finding a costume though because as usual, I procrastinated. I wanted to be Mr. Fantastic (and get a super long stretchy strap-on for laughs), but all the adult costumes were too big and the teen ones too small. I wanted it to be tight, but I couldn't even get the spandex above my chest! I finally gave up and decided on Indiana Jones.

Believe it or not, despite the movie coming out this year, there was not a single Indy Jones besides me in the few parties I've already attended. Score! I went after the Indy look where his shirt is open, exposing my chest and upper abs. Not only did the girls approve, but they loved playing with my whip as well.

And what week wouldn't be complete without me meeting another super hot guy? My friends (neighbor/partner-in-crime Dana and AF Girl) wanted to go to the themed party with me. They also invited Emmy, this sporty blond girl. And Emmy invited Max. And Max is one fine specimen. I still have a hard on thinking about Max. He came to the club in a black speedo and a pink floatie tube (the tire-looking thing kids use in the pool). And he looked amazing.


I don't even really find people with their lips pierced attractive, but Max definitely pulls it off. He's got this really cute face so it counteracts the piercing. And his body was that of a Greek god - his abs, his chest, his ass, his arms, even his back - you name it, he had a great one. And when he said he liked my costume last year when he saw a picture of it, I was ecstatic. He has a girlfriend, but I didn't care. Being the only 2 guys in a group with 7 girls last night, we definitely had our moments. I've asked for hot straight guys' phone numbers so we can "hang out" so many times, I didn't even think twice. Max was definitely a worthy distraction from Gymnast Guy.

And on a side note, I didn't get to bed until 6am this morning so I didn't have time to make my early vote. Don't forget that I'm a procrastinator! I'm very excited that this will be the first time I cast a vote though since it's a very important election. And if it's not obvious - I'm voting for Obama. I don't really want to talk about politics on here, but I do believe he's a better candidate in terms of the issues that's going to affect my life, my family, and the industries that I'm in. I'm off to another party - hope you all have a great weekend!

Hot & Cold

I received a message from Gymnast Guy while I was at work last week. A manager just told me he called while I was in the middle of a group interview, but he didn't say what it was about. I checked my phone, and he had also sent me a text. He said he had good news. For some reason, I knew that whatever the good news was...that it wasn't going to be good for me. Selfish, I know but I'd rather not set myself up for further disappointment.

Anyways, I called him, and he told me he is up for a show. In China. WTF? He would be leaving town in January to train in Belgium. Then the guy who directed Celine Dion's show in Las Vegas will be creating a show in Macau. He's going to be surrounded by all those hot Asian men. My heart sinks to the floor. There was no way I can seduce this guy in two months. Or can I?


I congratulated him on this huge opportunity, and immediately took the chance to ask him out to a celebratory dinner. I should remind you that we haven't really hung out one-on-one at this point, and here was a perfect opening. Gymnast Guy says it's a great idea and even suggests we do it on Sunday (this one that just passed). I told him I had a prior engagement until 9p, but I was free after that. He says that would work.

Everything was fine until Sunday. He sends me a text in the middle of the day telling me he had a friend that was going through "a rocky time." He needed to console this friend and that he had to cancel our dinner. He's sorry. I might sound like I lack compassion, but I hated his friend at that very moment. I was sooo pissed. I think I even punched one of the boxes in the office.

After calming down, I realized this guy just isn't worth it. He's obviously not into me. I mean if he was, he would have rescheduled, right? I'm a busy guy, but if I was interested in someone I would make time for that person. Or am I totally wrong? Plus almost every conversation we have had tied back to work. How did I not see that? I did learn a very valuable lesson though - don't show a guy too much attention (I thought that just worked on girls but I guess not). I ignored him yesterday at work and you know what? He's going to be calling me in a day or two. And I'm not going to give a damn.

Ok...maybe a little. I'd be lying if I said I'm totally closing that door.

Ex-Roommates & Porn Stars

I went to the gym early Thursday morning and saw a very familiar face. I thought about it for a few more minutes because it was a really attractive guy and I couldn't quite place him....but then I finally realized...it was my roommate from freshman year in college! Except now he has blond hair. And he's much more muscular. I was in the middle of a set so I waited to talk to him afterwards, but I went over to where he was...and he was gone.

I had the biggest crush on this former roommate of mine. We'll call him JR. He was the nicest guy. And he was openly gay too. I didn't know he was also a model until I found him on the cover of xy magazine (I'm not sure if that's around anymore but it was a great magazine aimed at gay teens). The two of us lived with my cousin that year, and we had some of the best times ever just drinking and partying. I thought I was just into guys at the time (obviously I've come to terms with my bisexuality now) so he and I talked about everything. He lived with us until my crazy uncle found out that my cousin was living with two gay guys. She didn't even come from a strict or conservative family so I was really confused on where he was coming from. He came banging on our house's door one night yelling profanities and shouting at my cousin to get rid of me and our other roommate. The next day, my other roommate moved out. And I never heard or saw him again.

Before I continue, I also saw a gay porn actor at my gym that day. Very cute. For the sake of this blog's anonymity we'll call him Brad. I know this little tidbit of info sounds completely unrelated right now, but it's actually not.

As soon as I got home, I looked up my former roommate on the internet. Funny that I never tried looking for him on myspace until then. I found him and learned that he's continued modeling, but he's also now a go-go dancer. He actually has his own blog (I know I'm risking my identity even just sharing that but I have to be real), and he shares a lot about his personal life. Which included his breakup with a certain gay porn actor. Yep, he dated Brad. They made such a cute couple too...

I just e-mailed JR, but he hasn't replied yet. I don't know if he holds me responsible for what happened years ago, but I sure hope we can be friends again.

Mother & Daughter

The month of October just keeps getting more interesting. I know I haven't posted in a week, but this will be the first of three to four posts in one day to make up for it!

Last Wednesday, my co-workers from the nightclub and I got a table at the new rock club in town. The employees there come to support our club in large groups so we had to "roll in deep" (that's slang for a lot of people). When we arrived, we actually had two tables with five bottles. I love making new friends so I went to the bar and met with these two pretty blondes. One had a feather boa so I asked what they were celebrating. She says her twenty-first birthday. I told them they should celebrate with us over at our table.

I noticed the other girl looked a little older, but she definitely had larger boobs so I didn't know who to focus on. The older one left, and the younger girl started dancing with me so I didn't really have to make a decision. I asked the younger girl where her friend went, and she told me that was her mother. I was pretty shocked. The "mom" had been giving her daughter drinks all night...I wish my mom was that cool! I guess the mother went to go grab another one of their hot blond friends.

After drinking a few cocktails, I had started making out with the daughter. Then she went to the bathroom to freshen up. And at that point, the mother grabbed my face and started making out with me. Wow. I couldn't believe what was happening. After we were done kissing, the mother tells me to show her daughter a good time. I was not about to disagree!

Anyways, we were all dancing and having a great time when some guy passing by our table accidentally spills his whole drink on the mother's back. She was understandably pissed. I grabbed some napkins to dry her off, but in a quick flash she grabs both of the younger blondes and storms off. And of course the asshole that spilled the drink was nowhere to be found! Oh what a night!

James Marsden & Straight Actors

I watched an advanced screening of SexDrive earlier last week, and I was pleasantly surprised. I could not stop laughing throughout most of the movie! The leads are relatively unknown, but Seth Green and James Marsden were great supporting actors. James's role (and what happens to his character at the end) made me think of how much I like him as an actor. He's not only hot but also seems to be a genuine and fun guy from what I've read and watched on talk shows. I'm also somewhat of a comic book geek so I definitely respected him for his role as Cyclops in the X-Men movies.

But what impresses me the most about Mr. Marsden - is that he is not afraid to play gay characters. In fact, he's played several (The Heights, 24th Day...we're not going to count Enchanted). Most agents/actors are afraid they'll get typecast if they play gay roles, but James doesn't seem to mind. He did it before Heath & Jake did Brokeback. And did it hurt his career? He's been cast in The Notebook, Superman Returns, and Hairspray afterwards so the answer's probably no. I think he now even has a deal with Disney. I'd say he's doing pretty well.

Closeted gay actors have been playing straight roles for years so it's only fair that straight actors get to play gay ones. Some say that straight people taking gay roles just decreases the work available to those that are truly homosexual, but I think it's more important that A-list actors/actresses attract a wider audience to movies that get them to think about issues relating to the LGBT community. Look at what Sean Penn and James Franco are about to do with the Harvey Milk movie. If unknown gay actors were attached, would the same amount of people see it? Probably not. I'm actually glad these straight actors are tackling these roles and not caring what people might think about their sexuality. Isn't that a sign of a true actor?

For more insight into James Marsden, check out this great interview with him here.

A Blond Asian & A Brilliant Mexican

I sincerely apologize for not being able to post as often in the past week. I've started to go to the gym more often and put in more hours at both jobs so actual free time has been scarce. I promise to try to squeeze in more blog hours this upcoming week.

There were however a couple of interesting moments this past week that I'd like to share with you.

1) I was holding group interviews on Wednesday, and I was warned by one of my managers that there was a very impatient blond Asian girl waiting with the next batch. I didn't want to prejudge her, but when I went to the elevator to take her group up with me to my office on the second floor, she yelled at another candidate to hurry cause she was making all of us wait. Now this would have been fine if they knew each other, but they didn't!

I usually try to break the ice with the candidates in the elevator, and it's a pretty good indicator of what's going to happen during the interview. Half of the group was quiet as always, and there were a few talkative ones. The blond Asian girl was very sarcastic. Not funny sarcastic, but more like bitchy sarcastic. I look at her application and wonder if China or New York made her the way she was.

I ask my interview questions, and believe it or not, blond Asian girl actually impresses me with her answers. They weren't textbook answers either (and trust me I could see right through those) so I was starting to like her. The girls (and 1 guy) were applying to work in a clothing store so I had to talk about style and the way they dress. There was another female Asian applicant (a brunette one) who was also impressing me the whole time, and she brought up how Paris Hilton was her style icon. I agree that Paris may not be smart, but she does know to dress. The brunette Asian then goes on to comment how she loves blonds, but blond hair doesn't look good on Asians. Ouch....that was good jab. I felt the blond girl shoot daggers at her with her eyes.

I try to take the attention away by addressing some of my concerns with a few of the other applicants' appearances. One girl had nails almost as long as her fingers with nail art on them, another girl wore flip flops, and the guy had gauges in his ear. I told the three of them that those were unacceptable at our store, and I asked if they would have problems adhering to dress code. I never expect someone to say no, but at that point I usually discourage those that are going to show up to work and get sent home cause of what they're wearing anyways.

The interview's over, and I tell the candidates it will take a couple of days to select and check references so I will call them by the end of the week. I really liked two out of the seven, and I was still debating on the blond Asian. She was smart, but we have a very large staff, and I know that she's going to rub most of them the wrong way. I was definitely going to have to sleep on it.

The next day, the blond Asian calls, and asks if I have an offer for her already. Damn, this girl is really impatient! I tell her no, and she says she's been offered a position by another retailer. I politely ask her about her compensation, and use that as an excuse that we can't hire her. We weren't going to be able to compete with the hourly rate they were going to give her. My dilemma was solved!

2) Thursday night after working at the nightclub, one of my co-workers wanted to walk with me to the parking garage. We'll call her Olivia. She's a Mexican woman in her early thirties who usually wears her hair in pigtails and glitter around her eyes. Now when I first met Olivia, I thought she was a complete moron. She was annoyingly energetic and always acted like she was 12. The more I got to know her though, I began to like her. She was hiding something under that facade (no sexual innuendos here).

Well that night after work, she started giving me tips on how to make more money at the club. I couldn't believe some of the things that she was saying. I asked her how she knew these things, and she told me that she just asked and observed different people. That's when she began to explain why she acts the way she does. She would rather be underestimated so she can surprise people. It's very true that if people know you're smart/talented/strong right away, more is still expected. She also shared her observations of people at work, and they were so dead-on! Not in the "this is how this person talks and walks" but more of how each person reacts to certain situations, what pushes each person's buttons, and really more of what makes them tick. She said a lot of her own actions were calculated based on the people she was interacting with. I was floored.

Here was a lady that I had been working with for almost a year. For most of that year I thought she was or had been on drugs. And now she's speaking to me more clear than anybody has ever before. A lot of my friends and family have called me a bit strategic and manipulative (my sister has called me a male version of Katherine from Cruel Intentions), but Olivia is on a whole different level. I might manipulate singular situations to my advantage...but she manipulates everything around her to move forward in life. I don't know if it was the liquor talking, but she even spilled on guys she's dated just to find information about their companies and the way they're managed. She's even currently dating someone in the military who's been able to sneak her recruitment/training videos. She wants to start her own company that's going to specialize in nightclub management, and she needs all the info she can gather. Then she says she needs my help. Now at this point I'm thinking all this talk was only a set-up to get me to invest in a company that was never going to exist, but she actually just told me that I inspire her and would love to hear my ideas on the topic.

While I was flattered, I do keep the fact in the back of my head that Olivia can just be trying to manipulate me. I think she's genuine, but she could just be a good con-woman. We shall soon see...I'm approaching the whole thing very cautiously...

3) Oh and by the way, I'm thinking of doing a post monthly of what porn stars the people in my gym look like since I've received such a great response to that previous post...what do YOU think?

Cold & Quarantine

Summer's completely gone. The weather has changed within the past couple of days. The temperature has dropped at least 20 degrees, and the wind is definitely blowing. Summer's my favorite season so signs of Fall/Winter sort of bring me down. Gone are the days of hot people being half-naked 24/7, and here comes all the layers. Fashionwise, the colder seasons are great because I love layering sweaters, shirts, and outerwear, but now it's going to be rare seeing people walking around in their skimpy swimwear. I'm usually pretty susceptible to the flu too (I can blame my lifestyle for that) around this season. Maybe this year will be different. Oh and I guess I can always try to snag a warm body to cozy up with in front of my fake fireplace...

I watched the movie Quarantine last night, and it was surprisingly good. Think of Blair Witch Project meets 28 Days Later. It wasn't perfect, but horror movies rarely are. You just have to appreciate the entertainment they provide (in the form of an adrenaline rush of course). And most scary movies try to include attractive actors and actresses (maybe to distract us from the unoriginal plots) so at least there's eye candy. Quarantine stars Jennifer Carpenter and Jay Hernandez and is actually a remake of a Spanish movie. I'm glad they're giving Asian horror cinema a break. Even if it's only for a short time.

Quarantine is basically about a news reporter and her cameraman who tag along a couple of firefighters who investigate an emergency at an apartment building. From the previews you can probably tell that some tenants end up feeding on their neighbors. Well what you don't know is that after seeing this movie, you're also probably not going to want to own a dog you don't know the history of. I had a similar scare with my puppy when I was younger, but I'm glad I didn't contract anything. Anyways, I should really head to bed since I'm not going to get a lot of sleep this week. Yep, the holiday season also brings holiday work (in my case a LOT of seasonal hiring at the clothing store)!

6 Days & 6 Nights

So I failed. I thought I could go on a whole month without watching porn. But I came home a little buzzed and horny tonight....and ended up relieving myself to a couple of videos online. I couldn't even last a whole week! Why did I break down? Well here's a few reasons...

1. Visited Jake at work the previous night. I realized he doesn't just look Mormon but also resembles a young Val Kilmer. They actually call him Iceman. Wait....actually he's a hotter version of Val Kilmer. And very within reach...

2. Woke up today with Gymnast Guy asking me to come watch him perform in a show (very reminiscent of Cirque du Soleil). He's an acrobat in it so of course he's going to be in tights. Don't forget that I've seen naked pictures of this guy. I was so pissed I couldn't go to the show, but I already requested last Thursday off at the club, and I couldn't do it again this week. I hadn't talked to him for several days so all I could do was imagine him performing...

3. Went to the gym around 6pm. Another different set of hot bodies. Even their sweat was fucking attractive.

4. Hosted possibly one of the hottest group of girls at dinner tonight (there's a restaurant attached to our nightclub). The group included 2 models, an actress, and the daughter of an 80's rock star. They were not only beautiful, but really sweet too! There was even one I couldn't stop flirting with. My co-workers were so jealous. I almost found myself stuttering around these beauties...

5. As soon as I get home, I turn on the TV. Every channel I watch seems to have a show with a really hot character/cast member. Characters that turned me on. Cast members I wanted to sleep with. I couldn't take it anymore. And that's when I caved.

I am human after all. Guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I was watching one of my favorite shows, Nip/Tuck, the other day, and it featured a nun who wanted to get a breast reduction. One of the main characters asked her how she came to give up pleasures of the flesh. I don't really remember her exact answer, but I know how it made me feel. It made me feel dirty. Dirty because I couldn't picture my life in abstinence. Failing my month-long fast from porn just proved it. Is that a sad realization or what?

The Gym & Sean Cody

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Black Cat & Bad Luck

I'm not really superstitious, but a black cat crossed my path yesterday morning when I was about to head to the gym. I tried not to think about it, but I started worrying about what kind of bad luck I'd be having that day. Maybe I was subconsciously sabotaging myself with negative thoughts, but things started not going my way at the gym.


It's rare that I'm not on a schedule (even on my day off) so I have to plan everything ahead on my Blackberry. I'm usually at the gym exactly an hour and a half. I was working out my back and biceps yesterday, and every time I went to do Machine Pullovers someone was on it! I would leave and do another exercise, but it didn't matter - a different person would be there. I don't really ask people at the gym how many more sets/reps they're doing because I get irritated when people do it to me. I feel like I have to hurry. But I needed to stick to my workout so I waited for this one guy to get off after I've done everything else.

And while I was waiting, I saw Sasha. I tried not to look her way cause I didn't really want to talk to her after last week, but she came over to me anyways. She said hi and didn't even apologize for cancelling on me. I was cordial, but I wasn't going to pretend I'm happy about her constant flakiness. I pretended to go to another machine so she'd leave. She did, and after doing the pullovers, I went home.

As soon as I get home, I hop in the shower quickly cause I was running late. While I'm getting ready I check my phone for any missed text messages. I freak out cause there were a couple, but it seemed like everything from the previous day backward were gone. EVERY SINGLE TEXT. I lost phone numbers from texts I had not saved. So now all the texts with addresses, important info and declarations of love (I get one once in a while) were automatically deleted. My call history was also missing. Shit. My Blackberry Messenger conversations? Also gone.

I didn't have time but at that moment I had to go online and check to see what happened. Apparently, if you fill up your phone without "saving" these messages/conversations, they will ALL automatically be deleted once the phone runs out of space. It makes sense but why wasn't there a warning that I was reaching that point? Or maybe one message can be deleted for every one that I receive? That would make more sense than let's just delete everything we can! To top it all off, my phone was now reacting very slowly. What else can go wrong?

So I'm hurrying out of the house to get to work, and I press disconnect on my ITunes so I can grab my IPod. I guess I didn't wait long enough cause when I pulled my IPod, it went blank. I tried to turn it on, and it wouldn't! Are you fucking kidding me?? I couldn't worry about it then cause I'm already like 20 minutes behind. I now have a retarded phone and a broken IPod. When I get about 15 minutes away from my house, I realized I forgot to bring hair product. I was now stuck with messy hair all day.

Did I let all of this get to me? Absolutely not. I know when it rains, it pours so I was not going to let the downpour continue. I put on a fake smile cause it usually turns into a real one once I realize how much worse things could be. I actually ended up laughing at myself while driving to work. At the next stoplight, I try to reset my IPod, and it works! I do a little happy dance.

My phone was still as slow as molasses so dialing work turns into a 10-minute ordeal. I just turned it off. I wasn't going to go back to my pissed off mood. I get to work 10 minutes late, and when I turn my phone back on, it's finally normal again. Whew! The rest of the day was actually pretty good. I guess the moral of the story is don't let a black cat and a few bad things get you down. Cause if you do, you're only adding fuel to the fire - try to turn things around. It worked for me, and I hope it'll work for you!

German Guys & Deutschland

At work at the clothing store yesterday my District Sales Manager pointed out a guy she thinks I should recruit. I asked why. The guy was definitely good looking, but my DSM is pretty hard to please so I wanted to know what prompted her to ask me to recruit this particular one. She said that he's been fixing piles of merchandise and touching up mannequins as if he's been a manager in a clothing store before. I agreed that his behavior wasn't of a regular customer's so I proceeded to strike up a conversation. The guy spoke pretty good English, but he was from Germany.

I actually speak some German because I took four years of it in high school. I was saving up money for a trip to Europe at the end of my senior year which would have included a stop in Deutschland (AKA Germany). I have an aunt, an uncle, and two cousins that live in Cologne. I ended up using the money I saved up to move out of my mom's house instead (my stepfather hated me and wanted it to happen so I was just making everyone happy). I've always thought about how different things would have been if I had chosen to go to Germany, and just stayed miserable at home afterwards. I'm not even thirty yet so I guess there's plenty of time to travel the world, especially Germany.

Back to the story at hand. It was actually really nice having a conversation with this German guy. His name was pretty American, Ben. What I like about most European guys is that they don't have this homophobic, overly masculine vibe about them. In fact it's quite the opposite cause some are very fashion forward. Ben worked at a brewery in Munich and has never worked at a clothing store. It was pretty funny trying to explain to him why I thought he had retail experience. Then his girlfriend came up, and that was the end of that conversation.


It would be dumb to assume most German guys are attractive. It would just be a reverse stereotype. But in the past month or so I haven't really met one that's not good-looking. I guess I can Google-Image them to play devil's advocate, but why ruin my current fantasy (the one not involving Gymnast Guy)? Maybe I can look at some gay adult German vids before I begin my withdrawal from pornography tomorrow - ha!

Porn & Horror

How can you tell if you're addicted to porn? Is it an addiction if you watch it daily? I did a study in college, and at the time I don't think I fit the description. Now is a different story however. I'm going to try and not watch porn for a whole month starting tomorrow to see if I can just quit it like that. Wish me luck!

Oh and why the sudden post about adult films? Well like most posts, something happened at work this week that prompted me to think. I saw an average-looking Asian girl at the clothing store I work at the other day, but she had enormous breasts! I almost caught myself staring. I concentrated on her face and then it hit me. It was porn actress Tera Patrick. Anyways, my staff is comprised mostly of women so when I started asking if anybody else recognized her, nobody did. I needed validation. My cashier that rang her up told me her name was Linda Hopkins. So as soon as I got home that day, I looked up Wikipedia. And sure enough - Linda Hopkins was Tera Patrick's real name. I wonder what my porn name would be if I was in the business...

I also recently found out while looking at some internet porn (at least I'm honest) that gay porn actor Sam Ritter was really Stephen Geoffreys from the horror movie "Fright Night." He looked great as a teen actor and looked even better naked fucking another guy! His abs were enough to give me an erection! (Anybody else as obsessed as I am with abs??) It's interesting how someone goes from acting in mainstream movies to gay porn. Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I'm so sorry about my dirty post. There had to be a reason why I put up the adult disclaimer when you go to my blog!

Formal Events & Flaky Women

So a huge formal event was held at one of the hotels this past Monday night for the nightlife industry. I was supposed to take my neighbor/partner-in-crime (I posted about her birthday a couple of weeks ago), but she canceled on me two days before the event. She said she had to work so I understood. I immediately thought of this other girl I sort of have a thing for. We'll call her Sasha. She's tall, blond, and has nice breasts and a great pair of legs. Sounds pretty good, right? Well she'd be perfect if she wasn't a complete bitch. I think we get along cause I pretty much put her in her place when we're together. I'm usually a nice guy, but Sasha brings out the bad boy in me. I like her because we've acknowledged the fact that we've got great chemistry (despite it being a love/hate relationship) and we're pretty similar. We're both somewhat judgmental and high-maintenance. And we both know how to party. So I picked up the phone Saturday night to ask her to be my date.

I knew she was going to say yes if she was free. It was perfect timing cause she just happened to buy a sexy dress the day before. She said she wanted to wear fuchsia shoes so of course I had to wear something that would match. I'm obviously not wearing a pink tux so it would boil down to the accent pieces.

During the day Monday I went to several tuxedo rental shops, but I was not having any luck. I finally decided on a black tux with a silver vest and tie around 4pm. I called Sasha to not only confirm the time I was picking her up, but also to let her know that I picked black and silver. She told me what I picked out would be fine, but that she probably had to cancel on the dinner before the event because she was waiting for a corporate executive to come to her work, and he's running late. I was a little irritated, but I said it was ok. I tell my co-workers from the nightclub that I was supposed to meet for dinner at 7pm at this new European (French, Spanish, Italian fusion) restaurant that my date and I weren't coming. This was at 5pm. A half-hour later, she texts me that she had to cancel altogether.

I was pissed. But I'm not letting it ruin my night. I looked at it as a test of how many women I really know and if I could persuade one of them to get ready on such short notice. Fortunately, I was able to convince this cute cocktail waitress to come. She had work at 4am Tuesday, but she was going to stay as long as she can. So I called my co-workers again to tell them I'm back on for dinner. I got my hair cut, got ready in record-breaking time (around 10 minutes...I usually take an hour), and was at the restaurant only about half an hour late.

The food was delicious. The eggplant bruschetta, lobster pizza, tuna tartare, roasted chicken, and olive oil pasta definitely filled my belly. And not only was the food great, but it was also free! Including all of our drinks! Our bill for 7 people would have come out to at least $400-500. Knowing people in this town definitely has its perks. So we finished desert and left for the hotel around 9pm.


The event was divided into two parties - one inside the hotel's VIP pool area where they covered one of the 2 pools and turned it into a dancefloor/stage and the other party was in the hotel's nightclub. We stopped by the pool one first. There was a red carpet by the entrance where a few "paparazzi" were on hand. That was my very first time getting my picture taken by more than one camera at a time. It was definitely fun, but a little nerve-wracking. What if I didn't smile enough? What if I my tie was crooked? I just saw the pictures today, and they weren't bad so I'm happy.

I should tell you that we also had complimentary bottle service at both parties all night. So I was definitely drinking. My date left around midnight, but I wasn't going to stop partying! We went to the club afterwards and danced our pants off. One of my co-worker's girlfriends was even grinding on me, and the weird thing was that he didn't seem to mind. Guess we were all drunk and just having a good ol' time. We went to a late night sushi restaurant around 3am, and three of us ordered our own bottle of sake. I didn't get home til almost 6am Tuesday. Oh and did I forget to mention I had a management meeting at 8am? I made it on time wearing pretty much the same outfit from the previous night. I officially partied like a rockstar.

The Dating Show & The Dating Game

I shouldn't have left you hanging with what happened during my day off earlier in the week. I was totally shocked when I saw Gymnast Guy on TV. Just when I thought he couldn't look hotter...he did. And just when I thought I was getting over how charming he was...it was right there on national television. In fact, he ended up winning the guy over. The "guy" in question had actually been on another reality show before. I immediately looked online to find information on this reality guy. Most sites pointed to the fact that he is still single. Boy was I relieved.

I then proceeded to text Gymnast Guy about the situation in a very nonchalant manner.

Me: "Saw you in a dating show on TV today."
GG: "How funny. And embarrassing!"

He does end up revealing in the dating show that there's nude pictures of him out there. Yep...you read that right. I already found them of course (but I didn't tell him that). I'm so glad the internet was created. Let's just say if I had any hope of losing my crush on this guy, it's pretty much gone. This guy's great physical features definitely extend below the belt. I'm in love. Or am I?

I'm very aware that I don't have a relationship or even a real friendship with this guy. So of course it's not love. I also ask myself if I'm really attracted to him or just the idea of him. Is it because he's one of the few I've recently been interested in that hasn't just thrown him/herself at me? Do I just crave the challenge? Why do we play these games? I mean I am in a weird situation cause I'm his manager, but so what? I've got a ton of questions with no clear answers.

After that day, I vowed not to call or even answer any of his texts back. He must have read my mind cause he didn't contact me. And I was actually doing a pretty good job of keeping myself occupied. The guy I met Thursday night was a good distraction. But I was going to have to run into GG at work sooner or later. And that happened today. He showed up to work. On his day off.


He said he wanted to change his availability. I told him to talk to another manager. I acted distant and immediately pretended to help customers. But not for long. After he was done, he found me. His warm smile was too hard to resist. We had a conversation that I just wanted to go on forever even though I had stuff to do. I did remind myself that showing this guy too much attention might just make me seem less attractive so I tried to end our chat. But he just kept going. About working out. About the show he just saw that day. About how his parents will be in town next weekend and how he wants to take them to the lounge that's part of the nightclub I work at. WTF? Sure it's one of the top clubs in the country, but if my parents were visiting it wouldn't be one of the first places I'd take them. Is he toying with me? Anyways I finally got Gymnast Guy to leave. Even though I didn't want him to...

A bright idea popped into my head after work, and I thought maybe I can ask him out as a friend to go to a show this week. So I texted him to see if he was free Tuesday night at 10p to go see it. He's just getting out of his other job by that time. Included in the text was a sad face. That pretty much summed up how I felt too. This would officially be Strike Two. (Strike One was the time I asked him out to dinner.) I'm not a sadomasochist so I'm trying one more time, and if it doesn't happen, I'm gonna have to give the chase up. You would think in my line of work I would be used to it by now, but I just don't seem take rejection very well.

And here's another song (I stole from Gossip Girl last season) that is on repeat on my Ipod right now. I love the metaphors in the lyrics.

Style & The Well-Dressed Guy

I started this blog thinking I would be able to post daily - boy was I wrong! Between balancing two jobs and actually having something substantial to post about, blogging on a daily basis can be very challenging. So after a few days of absence, I've decided to share a little of my past on here. Well...something did happen Thursday night that prompted me to give you readers some back history.

I was working at the nightclub entertaining some friends that were celebrating their birthdays together (trust me I'm getting sick of birtdays too). Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a really cute guy giving me a look of recognition. He had brown hair, a lean build, and a boy-next-door look. I don't really make the first move on guys considering I'm not really out of the closet so I just continued to chat with my friends. Next thing I know, the cute guy touches me on the elbow and asks me if I was at a certain hotel the other day. I was. The guy says he recognized me because of the way I was dressed that night (a fitted gray sweater vest, a navy skinny tie, a striped blue shirt and charcoal pants) and that very moment (a dark aquamarine shirt, a black vest, a b&w striped narrow tie, and black pinstriped pants). I thanked him, and I was glad it was dark cause I started blushing. We exchanged names (we'll call him Noah). He asked me what I was doing at the hotel that night (I was visiting a friend at the bar) , and I asked him what he did there (he's in accounting). Noah also introduced me to his friend who looked a little annoyed. I thought maybe his friend was straight and didn't approve of us having a conversation that excluded him so I grabbed a couple of my female friends and introduced them. He didn't seem interested in them. So Noah and I started wrapping up our conversation, and I gave him my business card. I didn't really know how to ask for his phone number so I missed my opportunity. When am I going to learn? While the whole interaction did make me smile, it also made me remember that I wasn't always the well-dressed guy.


In fact, between high school and college I went through about three fashion phases. During 9th grade, I had somewhat of a nerdy/grunge look - I had acne, braces, and wore oversized plaid shirts and baggy jeans. The high school in-crowd took me in during 11th grade after I ditched the braces and lost the acne. My style switched to a hip-hop look since that's what was in at the time. I still wore baggy jeans but I wore Adidas, a lot of jerseys and bright colored XXL activewear even though I was only a Medium. By the time I won Homecoming King I was leaning towards more of a preppy look. This helped me a lot when I was rushing fraternities in college. I wanted to be a part of one of the two best fraternities on campus - one which resembled an Abercrombie & Fitch ad and the other looked and acted very spoiled like the guys from the movie The Skulls. I'll let you guess which one I ended up joining.

I started working at the clothing store as a sales associate my freshman year in college, and it's taught me a lot about fashion and style. The two can actually be very different. Someone can be very fashionable but lack a sense of personal style. I've only decided within the past couple of years that I would rather be known for having a sense of style than always wearing the latest trends. I'm still working on editing my wardrobe cause I'm somewhat of a shopaholic, but it's all coming together. And with what happened Thursday night, it looks like my decision to pick style over fashion has paid off.

A Day Off & Errands

What's a typical day off in my life like? I didn't have anything too major happen to me in the past couple of days so I thought I'd share what I did today.

3:00am. Finally fall asleep.

9:00am. Wake up to an e-mail from my district manager at the clothing store commending me on the district hiring report I created. She wants me to do it weekly. I decide to reply later and go back to sleep.

11:00am. Really wake up this time. I tell myself I'm not going to call or even think about Gymnast Guy today. I go on my laptop to reply to e-mails and surf the 'net for a bit.

12:30pm. Leave for the gym.

1:00pm. One of my cute male co-workers from the nightclub (who's also in an all male revue) surprises me by putting his hands on my abs telling me to hold them tight while I do wide-grip pulldowns.

1:30pm. Run on the treadmill. This is my first time doing cardio in almost a year. I'm an ectomorph, and it's hard to pack on mass especially if I do cardio. I avoided doing it for as long as I can, but I realized that if I want to turn my 6-pack into an 8-pack I would need it.

2:00pm. Get back home. I turn the TV on while I go on Amazon.com adding some DVDs like the first season of Dirty, Sexy Money to my wish list. Finish my acai protein shake.

3:00pm. My friend Amy calls and asks me to take her to the shop to pick up her car. Amy's one of those girls that guys can never say no to because she's this hot bad girl with a sweet side (and a smokin' body). So of course I agree. She tells me she owes me dinner. Not a bad deal.

3:45pm. After dropping her off, I pick up some groceries at the organic supermarket.

4:15pm. Stop by a Mexican grill to get a chicken bowl with brown rice.

4:30pm. Make it back home. Turn on the TV. As I begin to eat my chicken bowl, I recognize the guy on the screen. Gymnast Guy is on some reality dating show. I wish I was making this shit up.

Rejection & Horror

Another busy weekend has gone by. I worked with Gymnast Guy on Friday. It was only for four hours, but I enjoy every minute I get to see him. After work, I went to a birthday party held at a bar on the other side of town. At a little after 11pm, I received a text from Gymnast Guy telling me how he appreciated my "positive energy" at work and how he wishes me a happy weekend. Out of excitement, I texted back that he makes it easy for me to be positive, and if he'll consider going to dinner with me next week.

After an hour and a half, no response.

I then realized how much of a huge HR issue I've just created. I quickly texted him back apologizing for my inappropriate question and asking him if we can just forget I ever asked it. I concentrated on the birthday girl to get my mind away from the situation. She's so trashed after four drinks that she asks me why we've never dated because we would make a great couple. I just laughed awkwardly. My friend's a pretty hot blond, but she's slept with a couple of guys in my fraternity so I was not about to take sloppy thirds. I headed home around 1am and checked my Blackberry.

Still no reply.

So many thoughts are racing through my head at this point. Did he feel sexually harassed? Am I not his type? Did he want to say yes but wanted to keep things professional? He had a huge audition on Sunday so did he just ignore my text so I won't be a distraction? I needed to sleep so I tried to clear my mind.


The next day I just focused on work. I checked my phone on my break and there was an unread message from him. I freak out a little. It says "You're fine. Are you at work or are you off?" WTF? I tell him I'm on break at work. He texts back asking for his schedule if I'm not too busy. I started feeling really confused. I hope this guy doesn't think he has me wrapped around his finger. I might have asked him out, but if I'm getting rejected (which is highly likely in this case) I don't like to wallow in self-pity wondering what could have been. After work, I went to another birthday dinner to relax and try to forget the insanity. A friend happened to be a manager at this Asian fusion restaurant so we ended up having half of our meal/drinks comped!

Anyways, I received an email early Sunday morning from Gymnast Guy. It had a link to a Youtube video of a Worship song. A song about the Lord. I'm Catholic, but I don't forward religious songs. What is up with this guy? I texted him wishing him good luck on his huge audition without mention of his e-mail. I couldn't even really think about him cause it was going to be a very sad day. I had to go to one of my salespeople's father's funeral AND I was going to hang out with a really good friend one last time before she moves out of town. Is it just me or people are either dying, celebrating a birthday, or moving out of town every week? Not a very good combination.

My friend (we'll call her Parvathy) is quite rare. She comes from a pretty wealthy family, but she has always been pretty independent. I met her while she was studying to be a doctor here in the US (she was already one in India) when she was one of my former part-time cashiers at the clothing store. We share a love for horror movies so we went to go see one the last night we were able to hang out. We saw "Mirrors" starring Kiefer Sutherland. I thought it was pretty horrible. It did spark a debate between us about two different types of horror movies. She happens to love supernatural ones but doesn't think horror films with human killers are scary at all. I think it really depends on the movie. To me, it doesn't matter if a killer is a ghost or a human. If the movie delivers in setting up the atmosphere and the characters correctly, I will be scared. My favorite movies include a mixture of both - The Ring, Scream, Rosemary's Baby, Night of the Living Dead, Grudge, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre (this list does go on). What scares you?