Work & Working Out: Jordan & Jeremy

I'm baaack! I really just haven't had time to put in some good ol' blog time (it takes me a couple of hours putting together just one post between the actual text and the pictures/videos). I wanted to make some changes in my life so the blog has somewhat been the least of my priorities. This doesn't mean I'm totally abandoning it because I still believe it's therapeutic for me, and I've loved sharing my life with you.

One of the things I wanted to change is my body by putting on some mass while going for an eight-pack. Right now, my body's lean (think somewhere in between a runner and a swimmer) and I'd really like to just gain about 10lbs more muscle. I know it's not going to be easy. I started circuit training at the gym 5 days a week about a month ago, and sometimes I even do two-a-days. Wish me luck!

Now to the blog title. There's two guys that work out at my gym that I also work with at the nightclub. One's Jordan (just a reminder that I always change the names to protect our privacy), and he's the one I mentioned in an earlier post that also works in an all-male revue. He's got a lean frame so we have similar difficulties adding mass. We're always eating! This guy is so pretty that local magazines, websites, and other nightclubs have dubbed him as "one of the most beautiful people" in our city. He's also got these gorgeous blue eyes (sorry you can't see!) to go with his blinding smile. One of the things I've realized over the past month is that I'm surrounded by such amazing people that I'm really a fucking idiot for the way I was pining for Gymnast Guy.


Speaking of great eyes, we also have a new co-worker named Jeremy. Except his eyes are green. At first I thought the guy was going to be a meathead, but he's actually turned out to be one of my favorites at work in a very short time. He's very down-to-earth despite his past job with Playgirl, and he's even offered to personally train me at no cost! If I did have a new crush, it would be this guy. It doesn't help that he's confided in me that he sometimes does "muscle cam" for extra money. I almost asked if he masturbated on camera, but I thought that would have been too telling. He voluntarily shared that it wasn't totally nude. Uh huh. He says he finds it interesting that gay guys ask to be humiliated online. Oh did I mention this guy is straight? His feelings about money makes me think he can be convinced to do gay-for-pay porn if the price is right. I'm not saying he's a gold digger, but I think he has grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle which his job at the club isn't paying for.

As I'm writing this, I do realize some parts of my life are quite unbelievable. Is this guy for real? The answer is yes. I guess I'm a very lucky person. But the grass is always greener on the other side, right? I'm not totally happy with my life or myself, and that's why I initially started this blog. I don't think I've been really "in love" yet. I'm not yet in a job that I would consider a career. I'm in a pre-midlife crisis! (I'll save that topic for another post.)

Ex-Roommates & Porn Stars

I went to the gym early Thursday morning and saw a very familiar face. I thought about it for a few more minutes because it was a really attractive guy and I couldn't quite place him....but then I finally realized...it was my roommate from freshman year in college! Except now he has blond hair. And he's much more muscular. I was in the middle of a set so I waited to talk to him afterwards, but I went over to where he was...and he was gone.

I had the biggest crush on this former roommate of mine. We'll call him JR. He was the nicest guy. And he was openly gay too. I didn't know he was also a model until I found him on the cover of xy magazine (I'm not sure if that's around anymore but it was a great magazine aimed at gay teens). The two of us lived with my cousin that year, and we had some of the best times ever just drinking and partying. I thought I was just into guys at the time (obviously I've come to terms with my bisexuality now) so he and I talked about everything. He lived with us until my crazy uncle found out that my cousin was living with two gay guys. She didn't even come from a strict or conservative family so I was really confused on where he was coming from. He came banging on our house's door one night yelling profanities and shouting at my cousin to get rid of me and our other roommate. The next day, my other roommate moved out. And I never heard or saw him again.

Before I continue, I also saw a gay porn actor at my gym that day. Very cute. For the sake of this blog's anonymity we'll call him Brad. I know this little tidbit of info sounds completely unrelated right now, but it's actually not.

As soon as I got home, I looked up my former roommate on the internet. Funny that I never tried looking for him on myspace until then. I found him and learned that he's continued modeling, but he's also now a go-go dancer. He actually has his own blog (I know I'm risking my identity even just sharing that but I have to be real), and he shares a lot about his personal life. Which included his breakup with a certain gay porn actor. Yep, he dated Brad. They made such a cute couple too...

I just e-mailed JR, but he hasn't replied yet. I don't know if he holds me responsible for what happened years ago, but I sure hope we can be friends again.

6 Days & 6 Nights

So I failed. I thought I could go on a whole month without watching porn. But I came home a little buzzed and horny tonight....and ended up relieving myself to a couple of videos online. I couldn't even last a whole week! Why did I break down? Well here's a few reasons...

1. Visited Jake at work the previous night. I realized he doesn't just look Mormon but also resembles a young Val Kilmer. They actually call him Iceman. Wait....actually he's a hotter version of Val Kilmer. And very within reach...

2. Woke up today with Gymnast Guy asking me to come watch him perform in a show (very reminiscent of Cirque du Soleil). He's an acrobat in it so of course he's going to be in tights. Don't forget that I've seen naked pictures of this guy. I was so pissed I couldn't go to the show, but I already requested last Thursday off at the club, and I couldn't do it again this week. I hadn't talked to him for several days so all I could do was imagine him performing...

3. Went to the gym around 6pm. Another different set of hot bodies. Even their sweat was fucking attractive.

4. Hosted possibly one of the hottest group of girls at dinner tonight (there's a restaurant attached to our nightclub). The group included 2 models, an actress, and the daughter of an 80's rock star. They were not only beautiful, but really sweet too! There was even one I couldn't stop flirting with. My co-workers were so jealous. I almost found myself stuttering around these beauties...

5. As soon as I get home, I turn on the TV. Every channel I watch seems to have a show with a really hot character/cast member. Characters that turned me on. Cast members I wanted to sleep with. I couldn't take it anymore. And that's when I caved.

I am human after all. Guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I was watching one of my favorite shows, Nip/Tuck, the other day, and it featured a nun who wanted to get a breast reduction. One of the main characters asked her how she came to give up pleasures of the flesh. I don't really remember her exact answer, but I know how it made me feel. It made me feel dirty. Dirty because I couldn't picture my life in abstinence. Failing my month-long fast from porn just proved it. Is that a sad realization or what?

The Gym & Sean Cody

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Black Cat & Bad Luck

I'm not really superstitious, but a black cat crossed my path yesterday morning when I was about to head to the gym. I tried not to think about it, but I started worrying about what kind of bad luck I'd be having that day. Maybe I was subconsciously sabotaging myself with negative thoughts, but things started not going my way at the gym.


It's rare that I'm not on a schedule (even on my day off) so I have to plan everything ahead on my Blackberry. I'm usually at the gym exactly an hour and a half. I was working out my back and biceps yesterday, and every time I went to do Machine Pullovers someone was on it! I would leave and do another exercise, but it didn't matter - a different person would be there. I don't really ask people at the gym how many more sets/reps they're doing because I get irritated when people do it to me. I feel like I have to hurry. But I needed to stick to my workout so I waited for this one guy to get off after I've done everything else.

And while I was waiting, I saw Sasha. I tried not to look her way cause I didn't really want to talk to her after last week, but she came over to me anyways. She said hi and didn't even apologize for cancelling on me. I was cordial, but I wasn't going to pretend I'm happy about her constant flakiness. I pretended to go to another machine so she'd leave. She did, and after doing the pullovers, I went home.

As soon as I get home, I hop in the shower quickly cause I was running late. While I'm getting ready I check my phone for any missed text messages. I freak out cause there were a couple, but it seemed like everything from the previous day backward were gone. EVERY SINGLE TEXT. I lost phone numbers from texts I had not saved. So now all the texts with addresses, important info and declarations of love (I get one once in a while) were automatically deleted. My call history was also missing. Shit. My Blackberry Messenger conversations? Also gone.

I didn't have time but at that moment I had to go online and check to see what happened. Apparently, if you fill up your phone without "saving" these messages/conversations, they will ALL automatically be deleted once the phone runs out of space. It makes sense but why wasn't there a warning that I was reaching that point? Or maybe one message can be deleted for every one that I receive? That would make more sense than let's just delete everything we can! To top it all off, my phone was now reacting very slowly. What else can go wrong?

So I'm hurrying out of the house to get to work, and I press disconnect on my ITunes so I can grab my IPod. I guess I didn't wait long enough cause when I pulled my IPod, it went blank. I tried to turn it on, and it wouldn't! Are you fucking kidding me?? I couldn't worry about it then cause I'm already like 20 minutes behind. I now have a retarded phone and a broken IPod. When I get about 15 minutes away from my house, I realized I forgot to bring hair product. I was now stuck with messy hair all day.

Did I let all of this get to me? Absolutely not. I know when it rains, it pours so I was not going to let the downpour continue. I put on a fake smile cause it usually turns into a real one once I realize how much worse things could be. I actually ended up laughing at myself while driving to work. At the next stoplight, I try to reset my IPod, and it works! I do a little happy dance.

My phone was still as slow as molasses so dialing work turns into a 10-minute ordeal. I just turned it off. I wasn't going to go back to my pissed off mood. I get to work 10 minutes late, and when I turn my phone back on, it's finally normal again. Whew! The rest of the day was actually pretty good. I guess the moral of the story is don't let a black cat and a few bad things get you down. Cause if you do, you're only adding fuel to the fire - try to turn things around. It worked for me, and I hope it'll work for you!

Sticky & Sweet

Sorry for my late post this week. The past couple of days have been hectic. I finally grew some balls and asked out Gymnast Guy on Monday. Well...kind of. My co-workers from the nightclub and I had a few complimentary tables and bottles at this popular martini bar Monday night so I took the opportunity to invite him along. That's when I found out he didn't drink alcohol. I was so impressed with this fact that it just made me like him even more. I told him that I would just have to find a dry activity for us to do (well to be honest hopefully anything that I would do with this guy would end up with us getting wet)!

That night actually turned out to be pretty fun. I ran into a former salesperson of mine, and she introduced me to a really nice girl who worked at a strip club. She was a cocktail waitress not a stripper though. This is great because I'm always looking for new clients for the club especially ones that work in a mostly female environment. I also got to hang out with one of my cute new co-workers from the club, and she turned out to be pretty awesome too. She just moved into town a couple of weeks ago. I hope she doesn't get jaded by this city. We were all having such a good time that after the martini bar, we all went to breakfast.


The next morning, the very first text I receive was from Gymnast Guy asking how the previous night went. Man I feel like a schoolgirl everytime I bring up this guy. I wonder if it's just a crush....hopefully not. Anyways, he also told me that he would be getting his wisdom teeth removed this week so he needed help getting his shifts covered. I told him he didn't have to worry about coming to work (we were cutting payroll anyway cause business has been pretty slow) and I also told him that if he needed anything (including me being his male nurse) I would gladly oblige. And yes, part of me thinks I'm being an idiot for throwing myself at him, but I rarely do it, and I know the consequences so it's ok. (I just hope I don't reek of desperation.) He then says that he might take me up on that offer. Good. But then he calls me a really "sweet" guy. I don't know what it is about that word, but "sweet" wasn't an adjective I would normally use to describe myself (or would want people to use to describe me). It's like the word "nice." Is this his way of telling me I'm not his type?


Overreacting aside, I'll just take it for what it is and see what happens. On that note, I'm going to leave you with one of my recent favorite workout songs by Santogold. It was played during a scene in the show Gossip Girl (a guilty pleasure of mine...it's a cross between Cruel Intentions and The OC - two other personal favorites so don't laugh unless you've seen it) this week so hopefully it'll gain a wider audience. She reminds me of MIA so if you like that kind of music, you would love Santogold!